What do Milwaukee Bucks fans have to do with this?

The Timbers are 1 point behind in the race for a playoff spot with one game remaining. The starters were being rested so they could be ready on Saturday for a must-win game.

I saw what you did there.

Haisley would never credit an American for doing anything related to soccer.

You identified a problem, showed difficulties in overcoming the problem, and proposed a solution. This is the greatest comment in the history of Deadspin soccer posts.

I have never once seen anyone put MLS as the #5 league in the world. I've seen homers go as high as 7, and the haters put MLS outside the top 15.

What? The MLS isn't as good as Euro leagues? Thank you, THANK YOU soccer genius for reminding us! Your credibility as a REAL fan is secure now.

One day I'm going to click on an article and it's just going to be a video of Billy Haisley jerking himself off to a Champions League match.

Don Garber: Ran NFL Europe back in the day

Stick to sports.

Essex County is an amazing hockey-themed graphic novel.

My father is going to die without ever seeing the Cubs in the World Series.

My parents were pretty much the last family members I accepted on facebook, so this makes it a thousand times better seeing that you have your brother Mark, cousin Jackie and Uncle Steve all as "mutual friends".

I know exactly one guy that drinks Heineken, it is the only beer I've ever seen him drink, and I've only ever seen him drink one beer in an outing. I've sat at a bar for over two hours and watched that dude drink exactly one Heineken. That is my only real experience with it and that's all I need.

The dead firefighter story was a good distraction from the mascot showing up in blackface.

So Dan Snyder finally found an actual Native American?

Because soccer is nowhere near as popular in the United States as it is in Europe, and it is much more spread out. The distance from London to Berlin is about the same as Miami to Atlanta. The entirety of the EPL could easily fit in the Northeast. Hell, Dallas fans travel farther for home games than a lot of EPL…

I want to see what CenturyLink looks like when the Sounders play Fort Lauderdale.

If I play a bad season, then that lower level is waiting for me. If I play a very, very good season then there's the chance to go up and play at whatever you describe then as the highest level

Disclaimer: costume should not be worn within 500 ft. of any member of the Ferguson Police Department.