HAL9K and I are Illini alums

This.

"Annette also says that when she does place the infant figurine of baby Jesus on the bale of hay, the cats push the the figurine off and their rightful spot on the bale."

...and wear your AH deedas while driving it

brilliant

Ahh, c'est un trompe l'oeil!

In Rock Island, IL (where I went to high school) there are also black squirrels.

We call them tree rats.

yeah, the airbag deploying would totally suk

LOWE'S BITCHES!

I

Exactly.

football in Dallas => hoes

To paraphrase an old Bob Seger song, I do respect him, but..

Just installed a new copy of Dragon? ('Naturally Speaking')

yeah, they decided not to sell beer in the stadium this year

Oooh! Where can I find the rules to the L&O:SVU drinky game?

what a dick that guy is

'cutting weight?" what exactly does that consist of?