Captain Awkward had a really, sadly accurate column about this a while ago, the way we protect our creepy/rapist friends, why, and how.

I have lots of friends. Lots and LOTS of friends. I don’t know a single woman in my friends group who hasn’t been sexually assaulted. Not a single woman out of dozens of friends. This doesn’t surprise me, and it saddens me. But me and my friends group (which spans ages 27-51) are SMH over this. All of us have lived…

No woman is surprised by how common these stories are, sadly.

Don’t apologize - not one bit. Call him out. Call anyone who defends him out. Do not expend one drop of energy worrying about being strident. Strident is what they call us when we are making them uncomfortable. Good. They damn well should be ‘uncomfortable’ and more. Be judicious, yes. Talk smack and talk _smart_. Put…

Oh thank god this child rapist has you to defend his innocence. Because... justice.

Of course she settled, she was his god daughter. He knew her from birth and her family had a financial stake in making sure everything went away.

I know you are most likely just trying to prove a point, but as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse can I please just make the following point. This type of rhetoric and attitude actually does a lot to dissuade children who are abused from coming forward. It makes them even more scared and feel even more acutely that…

Thank you. He is a predator, nothing more, nothing less. He belongs in jail, and his settlements need to be made public. Those who support him are just awful people, every fucking last one of them.

Like most wealthy people, he paid his way out of it. Not to mention that the underage victim was Black, and our girls are rarely if ever seen as victims.

I just can’t with R. Kelly anymore. Predatory men are bad enough; Black men in positions of power being predatory is ten times worse because the media already pushes this narrative. Having it confirmed is a huge Black eye for those of us just trying to live our lives (or in my case, the mother of a Black son) who the…

not all men who attack women like this are psychopaths. in fact, only a small percentage are psychopaths. the rest are just regular guys who happen to not be able to see women as actual people deserving of consideration and bodily autonomy. there is no shortage of guys like that in the world, unfortunately.

When you completely lack empathy, and believe yourself to be the only person on Earth who matters, there’s no need to justify your actions to yourself or anyone else. When you think the rest of the world exists purely for your own entertainment and comfort, you can do anything to anyone and never feel guilt or regret.…

I mean that’s one of the fonts of conspiracy theory: people can’t believe terrible things happen in the universe from random events or individual actors, so they have to invent shadowy hierarchies of order to prove the universe isn’t disordered and indifferent.

Abuse actually comes in many forms. Not just physical or sexual. How about studying up on abuse with a psychologist or counselor before you go around telling someone they aren’t being abused. My guess is, the financial stuff isn’t the only problem or issue. This is a scared abuse victim looking for help and all she…

I’ll be gray, but I am a woman, married 17 years, whose husband is financially abusing me into his compliance. Well, trying to do so. I work part-time as a church secretary and he is in law enforcement. He has been working away from home since December 2014, because of issues with his sergeant here, staying with his…

I feel the same way for the most part, but a part of me is also terrified that now that the story’s been published, he’s NOT going to be happy, and I’m sure she knows that. I really hope he doesn’t do anything to her/have anyone do anything to her, and I really, truly hope she doesn’t hurt herself. Even if he never…

It was take right after it happens, sometimes bruises don’t look bad until 24 to 48 hours later. Also, they still look bad.

I am just worried that the victim will be more of a target. Statistically, a domestic violence victim who survived a prior strangulation attempt is more likely to be killed by the perpetrator.

In light of the topic of this article, here are some resources for anyone who needs help:

Thank you for doing this. I hate to look at these images, but people seem to forget that this is what it looks like when a man beats up a person less than half their size.
It’s crazy because while I know this will make (likely a positive) difference, I’m sad that it’s necessary. I’m sad that it took video of Ray Rice…