A phenomenon called Cultural Cognition:
iremembercarriebutler
aedrasteia
The Old Guard faced down bullets, batons, dogs, and tear gas. BLM doesn’t compare.
Since Jezebel and its privileged young white readership are in the tank for Sanders, I’m not surprised that this article not only leaves out a very important aspect of this incident, it also sells the fiction that BLM represents the black electorate in any meaningful way. Hell, even the unofficial leaders or…
Yes The Bernie Saunders protest effectively got people talking about the interruption and effectively stopped the rally that was focused on old and disabled people.
There’s no pleasing some people.
I was ~10 years too young to be very cognizant of what was going on at the time, but Steinem and Friedan were still household names while I was growing up. My big sister left all the Steinem & Friedan books (and Our Bodies Ourselves) lying around the house, where precocious little cavegirls could read them— so I have…
Sounds great.
That point about compromise — a lot of people seem to view that as a bad word these days. When you say, “relationships require compromise,” some people will look at you like you just said, “relationships require disrespect and abuse.” The idea of accepting that you can’t have everything exactly the way you want it…
“If you don’t give the other person room to grow, develop, shift, regress, etc.”
Sure, sometimes it really isn’t right to stay together. I’m more saying that for people who do want to stay together, it’s good to remember that the long view is going to look a lot different than whatever is happening right this second. I think we have a tendency to think, “Oh hey, we’re killing it, we’re so on the…
i have been married to the same man for 15 years, together for 19. we have two children and a good life. i don’t believe all people are monogamous or suited for permanent pair bonding or that marriage is necessarily working overall or that polyamory is the answer or that married people are or should be best friends or…
The problem is that we treat everyone with that mentality, because it’s a central element of our collective identity, as a culture. We’ll never stop treating parents that way until we stop treating people, in general, that way.
Harriet - I feel your pain! I have several scars from a zipline accident, including a vertical scar that runs down the length of my forearm. It’s from a nerve repair surgery. I can’t tell you how many people have asked me if I tried to kill myself.
Um, I see nothing wrong with humiliating or upsetting this woman who is deliberately trying to humiliate and upset you. You are 100% under no obligation to even talk to her at all.
i had a daughter die at 7 months. i was so numb but the thing that pissed me off more than anything was when people would utter that phrase, “she’s in a better place now.” it made me want to punch that person. i know they meant well but it just was NOT the thing i needed or wanted to hear. one friend had no idea what…
It is better to make a concrete offer. Say something like - I want to help you. Can I come by on Thursday next week with dinner? People who are grieving don’t always feel comfortable asking for help even when it has been offered with the best, truest of intentions.
THIS OH GOD. I pretty much defriended all the many emotional vampires I knew who either made my loss a way for them to talk about terrible thing that happened to them in their lives (usually not comparable, like ‘oh yeah when my neighbor’s grandma died I felt...) or just in general telling me how my loss was affecting…
Very nicely set out. I have my own checklist, which I try updating when I read things like the Year of Magical Thinking and Sheryl Sandberg’s posts after she lost her husband.
One of my best friends was killed in a car accident last year. It was awful and all of the people in our group who knew her still miss her. We keep thinking she’s going to walk in to the bar any minute and start dancing and laughing like she always did. It has gotten better over time but it’s still a daily hurt 14…