This is a really, really embarrassing post, and a real discredit to the other work you do on here.

Look, I know this post isn't serious and we're on Deadspin and whatever - but please don't perpetuate that "no snitching" bullshit.

We'll never know what would have happened, but it's just a terrible idea to kidnap and sell nice white ladies from America and talk about it online. Because when she goes missing, the FBI's gonna track those emails and rain hell upon whoever sent them. Not to mention whoever picked her up at the airport, whoever…

Jason collins is a terrible abomination and i am horrified of the effect he will have on our nations children.

Seriously Herm, go fuck yourself.

The cameraman was evaluated at a local animal shelter, deemed unsafe for the public, and euthanized.

When reached for comment, the owner of Fifth Third Ballpark said "This type of incident is exactly why we built the first four Third ballbarks."

Punting yard averages isn't the only determining factor in rating a punter. Locke had more blown holds this season on placekicks than Kluwe had his entire career.

but they were still all pretty good, save for maybe the one with Samuel L. Jackson

The match ended in a draw.

Legal as it may be, it's taking the fucking piss and a poor show of sportsmanship. This isn't how the game should be played.

Or, you know, they could just play fucking football.

Go back and read the article Deadspin posted over the weekend. Clearly self-policing doesn't work. Desjardin was on the ice and the hit still happened. Lapierre isn't afraid of getting punched. If the league drops the banhammer for a few weeks, he'll think twice next time.

"As a soccer player I hate it when that shit was pulled on me but i'd love it when it went our way. "

Is it really that complicated? If he doesn't use his timeouts, then the field goal is kicked as time expires. Instead, his team at least has a shot at returning the ensuing kickoff for the win. Tiny chance of winning > no chance of winning.

God, I hope they send the wrong man into the ring...

Wrong. The chemical you're referring to is Thujone which is a byproduct of Grande Wormwood and an active ingredient in the majority of absinthes available today worldwide (including the US.) Even early-1900s pre-ban absinthe has been found to contain very similar levels of Thujone to its modern counterparts. Although…

Scott Pilgrim was criminally underappreciated. That is all.

"So if a man approaches me for a booty grind, the intended result on his part is to get an orgasm?"

What the fuck? Gay baiting? I had hopes you had a funny punchline. And what fuckstick actually recommended this?