But you still drive a car, don’t you? That coaster fear I developed as a kid is one of the reasons I became terrified of all vehicles. The idea of me being the one in control of one is not in the best interest of humanity.

As a budding teenager, I went to an amusement park for the last time. As I kept riding the rides and the coasters, a tiny wet stain on my pants grew progressively larger with each ride.

The belt thing always proves tricky. The funny thing is, I don’t even need to wear a suit and tie to work! (And I, well, have my unmentionables picked up at home to be laundered, then returned to me, because hey, I can’t keep ruining washing machines.)

I can’t drive a car, ride a bicycle, balance a checkbook, do laundry, play sports, be a man of the world, extract secrets from prisoners, or be an alpha in today’s world. But I damn know how to tie a tie. Learned at 16.

They are. And yet I feel I fail at being competent at most of the things of this list. Though not for a lack of trying!

Funny, but wrong. They operate like it’s 1995.

I too fell out of comics for a long long time, and the best thing for lapsed Marvelites is Marvel Unlimited. It’s so near to perfect you will weep. I swear, having the whole Marvel Universe available to me has rekindled my relationship to these characters I thought had become exclusive to the Marvel movies.

It’s idiotic, is what it is. Men having the gall to even attempt this expecting to work, scares me. If I ever catch another man attempting to do this around me, I’m gonna encourage the woman to laugh in his face.

Isn’t it a lot less time consuming and better (and honest) to just say, “hi,” and go from there?

Oh, I get it now, to turn things around so it seems you are after him and not the other way around. That sounds awfully insincere. I’ve been married for 7 years now, and we have been together eleven years total so I don’t know much about dating, but...do men really attempt this? And expect it to work?

I’m a man. I don’t think I could do that and not expect to be slapped across the face every time I opened my mouth.

I do. But that’s how it used to work, didn’t it? You found someone equally inadequate and hoped for the best. That’s how I met my lovely wife!

I don’t understand negs. What are they exactly in a real life setting? They sound dumb. Follow up question: What would a neg-neg be like?

I’m sorry, but a wardrobe full of flannel shirts should go in the Character Concerns bin.

I’m Mexican. Please tell your sister she is nuts and to pronounce it correctly lest the ancient Aztec Gods visit her in her sleep and give her the runs.

Me too. I have shampooed my beard about four times since reading the last article, though. Now the lower part of my face feels like a baby’s head.

True, but if I had any severe allergies I would have sadly applied this logic to myself and have already stopped eating out or just sitting there and order water if it was a social occassion.

I’m one of those who admittedly don’t know much about the intricacies of boxing, and yet I want to care, because I like sports and I like competition and epic bouts of human athleticism. So I turned to the fight and see Mayweather fight, and understand how he employs his skills, and feel angry and shortchanged. This…

This is me, according to the lovely wife, who forbids me to both fully shave or grow it to lumberjack length, an agreement I can live with.

My daughter is a fan of the film but is aggressively pro-Anna, and when we asked why she only wants Anna stuff, she said, "Cuz she's the good one."