I feel like one should snap their fingers after saying it.

They do? Of course, that would have robbed my daughter the joy of her first Ninja Turtle.

Oh! I'm good at unfolding chairs in record time. No, really, I am.

I do get asked if I want a "boy" or "girl" toy. I always say "hand me both", and show them to my two year old daughter, who then makes a choice based on which toy meets her lofty standards. (Cars or anything with wheels or wings=yay. Accesories like belts or rings=nay.)

What if it is the *only* skill I possess?

"Amazing at running"...I want to put that in my business cards.

I have no problem with potato kit kat. Sidenote: my dad used to buy tomato jam for me as a kid. I used to spread it on toast and (sweet lord) on PANCAKES!

Exactly. I don't have mine solely because it makes me look good (though it does) but because it's who I am ( and the wife would kill me if i shaved.)

Excuse me, but my mom always said I was good looking. Are you calling her a liar?

I knew I would find like-minded, wheel-challenged community on Jezebel. I can't operate anything with wheels (skates, bikes, cars) and not for a lack of trying. As a man, it becomes a thing where your very masculinity is questioned. Which I compensate with a beard.

I was in a mild car crash on tuesday. I weep for the chance i lost.

It's a bit more than that with these bunch. It's "memememememe—in front of that thing you read about on the news. I'm famous!"

She hasn't. Mostly, she's just bought new jeans, because isn't that the point of a diet?

I'm afraid thigh-gap starved girls will start to take picture of themselves in golf stance to achieve the effect!

He's not? *weeps*

My downstairs neighbor is a single woman in her early 40's who is quite succesful in bringing men home and being loud at sex. We've complained, over and over, but there was really very little we could do. It sounds funny, but loud sounds of banging coming from underneath at unexpected hours, really do put a strain on…

To fart as you uncork it. Yes! Awesome!

You just made a dry afternoon much better. Thank you. I'd give you a bag of doggie treats if I could!

Thanks for the thorough reporting. I'm relieved in finding out just what a set of fine young men will be taking over our airwaves come summertime. Or streaming services or what have you. (In my thirties, I've decided to just nod in acceptance as youth culture of today zips by, shoving me from where I used to stand.)

The quality was outstanding! Where also would kids find pointers on how to open cans and know what cocaine to bring? At 35, I found it quite useful.