Fun fact: Reading this IN the Purple Tentacle's voice makes it better.

Well, he did make it into a meeting with the inhabitants of the Black Lodge. You know, when they lived above the store.

Right. And it's very clear it WANTS to be exclusive rather than inclusive. Still, if Emily gave these episodes a D- here, I don't think the comments would be climbing over themselves to shit on the show to try and impress her. There'd probably be a riot, actually.

The review over at TVLine bugs me, mainly for the commentators clamoring over one another to agree with Ausiello's "I completely missed the point of Twin Peaks/Old Man Yells At Cloud" review.

She's so wet! #eww

Also: can we talk about Sarah Palmer's taste in TV shows? Holy shit, lady!

That might have been my favorite moment of the first two. Ray Wise is always a treat.

I thought it was the spirit of thebdecapitated man in Ruth's bed. But what do I know.

The funniest part for me was Laura removing her face. It was so inexplicable and weird that I couldn't help but cackle.

Well, in the non-canon Secret History, Frost had Sam Stanley becoming a drunk and disappearing off the face of the earth.

None of those guys are in the cast list so…:(

So…was new Smoke Monster Laura? Looked like the shape of a woman to me. And she sure did leave in a hurry to go back to her home planet.

Horrifying. It really bothered me. Poor, poor Dale.

It's like Mark Frost saw Inland Empire and said "There's a good movie in-between all the inanity here, David. Let's do that only this time make it actually compelling."

Aziz Michael Clayton'd/The Long Good Friday'd the shit out of that!

Do you have fucking Memento disease?

Concern trolling is a good fit for you.

It's not a joke. This screams auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Nah, he probably Robin Carradine'd.

Or you could take neither side and let this lesser asshole and major asshole just deal with each other.