Exactly. If Gwyneth doesn’t have someone Snoop Dogg-level in her squad, she’s better off to just back away slowly. Martha does not come to play.

Snoop Dogg has never steered me wrong in the past, so I’m team Martha for this one. 

Gwyneth isn’t worthy to clean her garden wellies. None of us are.

Put Ms. Martha in a pair of white gloves and a big ol’ lavender church hat so she may complete her transformation into a white version of my grandmother.

These are both very wealthy & privileged women, and yet Martha is always coming out cooler & relateable, every single time. And she has the polite, shadey sensibility down pat. Goopy’s trying too hard. 

Can you really clown someone who’s always clowning themselves though? I mean vaj steaming, magic stickers, hoo-hah eggs - there’s no way GOOPy was really serious about any of that stuff right? Right??? /s

“If they’re movie stars or hardworking women like I am”

So good luck, Gwyneth.

My first thought was, “Oh, sweet, Charo was there!”

I turned it off after Lizzo to watch a rerun of Law & Order. Now that is old.

I know we’ve complained about this before but it’s very difficult to read these articles when you don’t describe the people left to right. ESPECIALLY because we’re all old as shit and don’t know who any of these people are. 

BUT...what shoes was Jonathan wearing?!?!?

Also, I definitely thought Billy Ray was Kid Rock at first glance.

*been out of the loop for a long time*
OMG what on earth happened to lil kim’s face ??
I mean, I know what, but whyyy ???

On first glance, I definitely thought James Charles was Katy Perry.

I watched this last night - mainly just for Missy Elliot.  Now i know what my parents were thinking when i used to watch as a teenager. Getting old is hard :(

Someone gave my mother a fruit dehydrator as a wedding gift and supposedly my father said, “ugh great, now you can make those banana chips you love so much!” Apparently, she never has made or liked banana chips. That was his first wife and he was mixing them up. My mother hates banana chips. She was going to use it…

Whenever someone eats banana chips as a snack, I feel extremely confused and like we must have completely different taste buds/find completely different sensations pleasing to us. I can still be friends with a banana chip eater, but I can never place myself in their shoes mentally.

It makes them so much worse.  Just what I wanted, a banana that’s both hard and greasy >:(

Someone help me find muesli that has dark chocolate chunks, but no dried banana. Drying them does not improve bananas!

I am so tired of Hollywood pairing older men with younger women as if there is no other pairing that exists.