lol, yeah, as opposed to what’s being done in the White House right now.
Ugh. Piers. Why must you burden our Mariah like this? Disrespectful.
Hahaha I think you just found my New Year’s Resolution for me!
Mariah as Prophetess is honestly the only version of reality I want to prescribe to.
I think the reason I’ve grown to appreciate Mariah so much is that no matter how much bullshit is going on in the wider world, she manages to not let it affect her at all and just focuses on herself. Maybe not the best trait, but something I’ve never figured out how to do, which is why it fascinates me so much. Also,…
Comment of the day right here, folks.
This is the single greatest comment I have ever read. This just. Blew my fucking mind. It is such an excellent idea.
I imagine that publicists are a 50/50 split on reacting to everything with either “Who fucking cares?” or taking everything far too seriously.
This is officially my favorite Jez post of the year, as it involves all of my favorite things: Bobby Finger, Zendaya, and being sarcastically pedantic.
In theory, part of the idea of him waiting was so that people wouldn’t realize the GOP had fucked Medicare until after the 2018 elections. At least this ineptitude to adhere to strategy, and the GOP’s general malice, might actually come around to bite them in the ass next November.
OH MY GOD HER TOE BEANS.
Bobby should just submit a collection of his most hilarious Dirt Bag lines rather than one particular article.
This one was so, so good and so timely.
EEEEEKKK!!! Just in time for the upcoming Ocean’s 8 press tour! PLEASE MINDY, GIVE US THE GIFT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF PHOTOS OF YOUR ADORABLE CHILD THIS MAY!
GIRL DID YOU NOT SEE THIS?
I’m having a visceral reaction to that one. It frightens me how the Pences basically just look like your average Midwesterners, because I also live in the Midwest and see people who look like them every day. EVIL IS EVERYWHERE, APPARENTLY.
Thanks. Ina’s my girl. If I could cross stitch, you better believe I would embroider “if you can’t summon the flames directly from hell, store-bought is fine” along with the candles and hat onto a cloth, and then frame it and display it proudly in my home year round.
Honestly, I hate that the solution to this is so easy, and yet his bigotry would prevent him from ever admitting it. Which, to borrow from Ina Garten, if you can’t produce your own population, an immigrated one is fine.
Not having to do all the dusting that inevitably occurs after you’ve finally managed to get everything all stored away again—that would be a true Christmas miracle as far as I’m concerned. The post-Christmas dusting of fake pine needles and glitter is always both depressing and incredibly grimy.