Guys. Right before he's about to climax...stop. Run to the kitchen in your French maid outfit. Whip up an omelet. Poor it on his "member.' He'll be so hot and bothered, he'll buy you anything you want.

In all fairness, it might be "put a scrunchie on his dick".

Not going to lie, this does sound like an amazing networking opportunity and just a lot of fun. And Cosmo can be a ridiculous magazine, but I still read it for fun; its relevance is far and wide so I imagine it'd be pretty interesting to sit in and check out some of the lectures, especially if Sandberg would be…

Look again. He's talking to himself. Which is even better.

Hey! I 'd like you to meet someone, he's called Suspension of Disbelief.

I know. How hard is it to get someone to do a foot high mohawk?

X-Men: Wolverine: Days of Future Wolverine would be a better title.

It's BLINK! Oh my GOD!

And it is a huge pet peeve of mine when people use broad strokes to define a problem that became a problem because of people using broad strokes.

Meh, all this nudity is pretty fucking boring. I know what naked ladies look like. When I look at pop stars I want to see them in fabulous fucking outfits.

Yes, a new, wholesome inspiration for us all.

like, one second on Google.

This is the most hypnotic thing I've ever seen

A lot of people get that reaction - ultra-relaxing tingles - from similar things. Although there's nothing medical or official about it, it's widespread enough to have its own name: ASMR. Some people on youtube have even started making videos catering to that reaction, like filming themselves sorting through jewelry…

Love the Suckablood. It's like Roald Dahl's and Guillermo Del Toro's lovechild.

Gawd. Nothing like watching someone who knows what he/she is doing. Grace, confidence, competence — yeah, porn. Artisan porn.

Sometimes, when I think it's not possible to love Chris Hadfield anymore than I already do, he goes around and does this.

Buzz Aldrin was always my favorite astronaut (especially for the time he punched out that moon-landing hoax conspiracy guy), but Hadfield is entering the pantheon.

If we can sparkle, he may land tonight.

she just wants to find her Merman and leave a beautiful mess behind them