Guys. Right before he's about to climax...stop. Run to the kitchen in your French maid outfit. Whip up an omelet. Poor it on his "member.' He'll be so hot and bothered, he'll buy you anything you want.

In all fairness, it might be "put a scrunchie on his dick".

Not going to lie, this does sound like an amazing networking opportunity and just a lot of fun. And Cosmo can be a ridiculous magazine, but I still read it for fun; its relevance is far and wide so I imagine it'd be pretty interesting to sit in and check out some of the lectures, especially if Sandberg would be…

Because caring about my pets means that I give zero fucks about hungry people, schools, and housing.

Because there are no pet owners who are bleeding heart liberals? I usually find they are.

I hear you. I also wonder, is this a zero-sum game?

It's a hell of a lot easier for an individual to influence the health and happiness of a pet in their care than it is for them to solve hunger, the education system and the housing market. Duh?

Because those two options are mutually exclusive, right?

Is it okay if people do both? I mean, I fight for kids and education in lots of ways, but one reason I care about the products I buy (whether for myself or my dog) is because I know that buying non-toxic products not made in Chinese factories is better for me, my dog, the earth and even the economy.

Isn't Esquire basically Maxim for when you're out of college? I mean, I'd see your point if it were like Time or something, but I thought Esquire had been a lost cause for a while now.

And it is a huge pet peeve of mine when people use broad strokes to define a problem that became a problem because of people using broad strokes.

I love how you take from my post that I am saying "poor white people" when most would be able to comprehend that the point is that not ALL white people are ignorant racist assholes. But it is mostly supposed to gently remind the original poster that using broad language is a hazard that causes the same thought…

Admit it white people you just don't care.

People are very into this idea that if they didn't mean for the racist thing they did to be racist, that ameliorates it. I'm not sure why.

Esquire's Woman of the Year is a woman best known for wearing nothing but a thong, intense lipstick, and perky breasts in a music video. I hate everyone and everything.

I have had white friends dress up as black characters or figures for Halloween( Prince or Jules from Pulp Fiction) but their costumes made sense without making their skin darker with some awful makeup. I just don't understand the thought process sometimes jeez!

Meh, all this nudity is pretty fucking boring. I know what naked ladies look like. When I look at pop stars I want to see them in fabulous fucking outfits.

Yes, a new, wholesome inspiration for us all.

like, one second on Google.

she just wants to find her Merman and leave a beautiful mess behind them