I had only ONE rule: Alex Krycek cannot join them in a threesome, and it was ROUTINELY ignored

I will say that 1/? is about as exciting as a party invitation that says 9 pm - ?

In my day, we used to string 20, 30, sometimes 50 tweets together, but then publish it all at once! We called it “an angry response to the alt.tv.x-files.fanfic.scully-and-skinner-boning Usenet group”!

Belichick: Gentlemen, the day of reckoning has finally come. God have mercy on our souls (picks up mallet, prepares to smash one of four human-sized glass enclosures labeled ‘Chris,’ ‘Dan,’ ‘Glenn,’ and ‘Gordie, Jr.’)

Solution: Luxury condos for trust-fund hipsters to be located in that giant-ass foul area.

I heard it out of the corner of my ear during a game broadcast and thought “Why are they saying that person’s (Herman Gomez’s) whole name?”

I thought Victoria’s Secret was that she had several women of the night murdered by her royal surgeon to protect the secret of an illegitimate child fathered by her idiot son.

Well he might not have -said- anything, but we have this footage

Opposing Player 1: He’s just chilling there

If I were him I’d be paying attention to lots of shit that wasn’t related to his dismal team either

I had forgotten about his ability to multitask, e.g. bankrupt the Continental Basketball Association while offering up horrible televised NBA commentary under the influence of nitrous or something similar.

I think I see the problem now.

It was better than the alternative celebration planned by Isiah, which involved sexually harassing a dozen or so Hoosier co-eds.

Counterpoint: any sufficiently advanced poverty-reducing technology is indistinguishable from magic.

No wonder Dwight David “90% for over 1.5 million” Eisenhower didn’t pursue Patton’s plan to do a quick post-V-E Day team-up with the Germans to kick Communist ass, he was ONE OF THEM.

Hopefully they get to the episode where Neil deGrasse Tyson was the bass player for Bad Brains from 1983-1986

Big deal, Bill Russell once ended up with 14 boards while spending the duration of a Celtics-Nationals game in hospital for a broken ankle. Goddamn participation trophy-hoarding millennials.

The best Taco Cabana was on Parmer, they served frozen margaritas to 17-year-olds in the early 90s. So I’m told.

“When ownership-level decisions are made by a white trash self-medicating legacy billionaire, you generally win one fluke championship when a team piloted by a 20 INT-throwing Rex Grossman somehow makes the Super Bowl.”

But when Yogi Berra said things like “we generally win 80% of the time” it’s considered endearing. Or “when you find a bunch of unlabeled pill bottles and $29,000 in cash in a bag, take it.”