Works for all of them, even! “I’m not racist/sexist/homophobic but...” is always followed by a statement that disproves it.

Dude, the issue was very clearly that slaves could not consent to their owners’ advances because they were slaves. Don’t be obtuse.

Now, what’s puzzling as hell to me is all the Confederate flags in Pennsylvania... Like, y’all realize you willingly fought for the other side, right?

The thinnest I have ever been in my life was after a semester in England, for precisely this reason. There was not a damn thing worth eating.

Ah yes, but constant hunger pangs build character, you see. Undereating is moral. How do you know how virtuous you are unless you’re uncomfortable? /s

That’s the worst :/ Good luck on your recovery.

It’s her personality. She’d be less ugly on the outside if we didn’t know how disgusting she is inside.

I grew up in Carroll County, and have no idea how anyone could have missed the number of Confederate flags waving around...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Thanks.

What motivates women’s post-baby drinking?

I actually hate most women’s attire that does have pockets, because they’re almost invariably sewn in the exact perfect location for the fabric to bunch awkwardly and make me look fatter.

I admit that I only clicked on this article to make sure that the rat is now safe. I’m extremely fond of rodents.

Clicks are a helluva drug.

Cool, cool. How about we get some government-mandated paid family leave, affordable healthcare, wages you can actually live and raise a child on, and measures taken to ensure that the planet will still exist in 30 years, and a bunch of us will happily start cranking out more babies.

Incidentally, this is why I went out of my way to choose a female GP for my family.

You had my fat ass at “hollandaise.”

10/10, would eat

Living the dream.

In the immortal words of Detective Jake Peralta: “When pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime!”

Onomatopoeia of “pterodactyl shriek” maybe?