Or Canada.

Oh yes, his tweets give me life. Chris Evans is Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers is Chris Evans.

The defense contractors have been dictating spending, not the military itself.

Doesn’t it just?

appearing “hyper” and “giddy” in the lunch room

I’m sure if he were allergic, he’d have told the doctors who prescribed it. 

God, if only all hospitals were like Sacred Heart, where the administration knows all its doctors are sneakily caring for people without insurance and pointedly looks the other way.

Captain America is 1000% done with your shit, America.

Ew! Why the fuck would you say that to anyone, let alone a prepubescent child? 

Shhh, we need to let The Poors get poorer so they’ll work for less money.

That’s... certainly one way of telling someone they look like a whore. Dear lord.

Oh my God, I’m three lines in, and this is gold.

Probably not, since it’s what she clearly finds hot.

I’m sure it will be just as poorly written as her last monstrosity.

That had me fucking howling, because that is exactly what I mean when I write “per my last email.”

Goddammit, I laughed.

Last year a newborn baby was found abandoned on a changing table at an Arizona airport with a note that read “my mom had no idea she was pregnant, she is unable and unfit to take care of me,” and the year before that a newborn was found abandoned in a grocery store parking lot in the state.

YUP, that is the downside...

I am a fellow styling-inept 30-year-old woman. This is a large part of why I wear a pixie cut now.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, honestly. Good riddance.