I promise you, coworkers without kids are less upset than you think. At least write that one off your conscience. I’m kid-free, and single, but this pandemic and RBG and Trump and everything is just playing havoc with my mood. But then I think of my boss and other coworkers that have kids, and I have no idea how the…

What’s worse is that a lot of food delivery sites use stock photos.  So you can look for Mexican food, say, for delivery, and the photos on the site look AMAZING... but you scroll to the next one, and they coincidentally have the exact same photos.  It’s impossible to trust anything nowadays.

Are you expected to give them a gift, too?  That just feels really weird.  Like, how are they asking people to pay for that stuff?  “Hey, so, before you come to my wedding, can you swing by Delilah’s Bakery and pick up my wedding cake.. and use your own credit card?”

Exactly. What bothers me about all of these officers all across the country is that not one single department (or specifically union, because the union reps have the cushiest jobs and are the most racist and entitled among them) has stood up and said “Yes, this is wrong. You’re absolutely right, we don’t NEED all of…

And now Katy will have to hold onto it forever.  And, like, put it out when/if Taylor visits.  What a freaking nightmare.  She’s been given junk that she has to be able to locate on a moment’s notice for the rest of her life. 

A lifetime ago, I worked adjacent to baseball, and had a fan foaming at the mouth complaining to me that a baseball player hadn’t removed his hat during a song showing appreciation for America, and that player should be removed from baseball, etc, etc. I pointed out that a) it wasn’t even the National Anthem, it was…

This. I’m still in the battle of trying to get my brows to grow in in certain places, to fill out, and worse yet, some hairs are noticably thicker and darker, which throws off the whole look.

Apparently they only believe in “back the blue” until the “blue” is backed into a corner.  Then it’s every man for himself.

First dogs, second Fall.  But dogs in Fall are the VERY best.

Months. It’s going to be months before we know if he’ll even leave the White House kicking and screaming.

Yep, this... because they put you out, you have to have someone else drive you home. Which sucks. Because it’s not like all of us find it super convenient to require someone to sit with us for several hours while we’re waiting for the doctor and then for the hour or so after you wake up.

Ah yeah, being from anywhere “Pointe” in Michigan meant your family had some money back in the day. (Now that’s partially true, but it can also mean that you’re totally white trash and think that people will imagine you have money, but everybody knows better.)

When you want to go full Midwestern, you say “Fords.”  Where do your father, grandfather, cousin and baby brother work? Fords.

I read somewhere that it’s an ingrained human response to put your hand out when someone’s handing you something.  So like, if you’re leaving a Starbucks, you could theoretically just say “Here” to a random stranger and hand them your empy cup, and leave them standing there wondering why the hell you gave them your…

Right.. doing so well that BOTH of her parents can just... stop working.  For an undetermined length of time.  Just stop... working. And, presumably, being paid.

Huh, I had no idea.  I’ve had terrible issues with photosensitivity the times I went to Cancun and the Dominican.  The last time I went, I actually got blisters on the inside of my legs.  I figured maybe it’s a really rare medication reaction.  But considering all drinks in those places include citrus juices and have…

Ha! I grew up near a train depot... the noises of the screeching brakes and the train cars slamming into each other? I used to think they were the noises the stars made.  Little kid brains are so weird.

Everywhere they say Ash Christian died of “natural causes.”  Like, what?  He was 35.  What’s natural about dying at 35?

I’ll admit it, I once bought one of the Sweet Lady Jane’s cakes online (one of Oprah’s Favorite Things (TM)) for a small Easter dinner. It was INCREDIBLE. So light and airy and not too sweet. It was worth every penny.  And I’m really a pie person, not a cake person.

Though sometimes it can amuse the rest of us. Not Twitter-related, but this is still one of the best things I’ve ever read. I reread it all when I’m feeling low.  (Pour one out for the real Deadspin.)