Due to my love of Craig Ferguson, I feel the need to point out to all of you that (however cute the shirt) actual flamingos stink. They smell terrible. Why? Because they pee on their legs to stay cool.

I can completely freak myself out in my own above-ground pool and convince myself it’s somehow possible for a shark or alligator to have gotten in there with me.

Or your siblings’ children, or your neighbors’ children, or anyone else. It’s a crazy implication, but really it’s just a way for people to try to make you keep your opinions to yourself. Ridiculous.

What is wrooooong with you, Gita? SPIKE WAS THE HOTTEST! I’d totally risk it.

It’s not, it’s just proof that at some point you were able to pass the driver’s test. You don’t have to be a citizen. You just have to prove residency and identity, neither of which would include photos, so could easily be faked.

I’m not a mom, and I get that push back from parents, too. “You’re not a parent, so education concerns don’t affect you.” Uh, right. Even regardless of how my home value is affected by the quality of the school district, I am personally affected by the quality of the CHILDREN in my neighborhood, and the education…

Why does everyone always say he looks like something cute, like a Keebler elf? This is what he looks like to me:

I agree. The parts with all humans definitely need some work, but the dog parts have been sweet and philosophical, with just enough surprising wit, that it’s been worth it so far. I’m hopeful.

Haha, he’s only ever sworn twice -- the other time was when he said “I’m gonna kill that [bleep]ing cat”... and they do bleep it out and blur his mouth.

That’s cold, man. So cold. (But here you go anyway.) :)

I was lucky enough to work from home with my pup for all of his 13 years. But that just made it harder to leave him because I wanted to go have dinner, you know, OUTSIDE of the house. And when I had to go out of town for work, it was a nightmare for me. (Even though my mom basically lived at my house while I was gone,…

My pup passed away recently, and I was grateful that his whole life I was able to work from home and be with him. Of course, like Martin, he belived my world began and ended with him, and had zero patience with me having a conference call during his required dog park time. Aw, man, I miss that ridiculous floof so much.

I wonder if at some point she’ll have Brienne in her hands, and Jaime kills her to protect Brienne.

In my 40s and barely had relationships for various reasons, tends to find only married men are interested in me, wants to be a writer but suffers from anxiety, thinks Jason Silva is a God among men — have you people been reading my diary?

Gerard Butler apparently once did it with just some average chick in a port-a-potty at a festival. I always wonder, would Gerard Butler be worth it? I’m still not sure.

Don’t forget Amazon.. you can order your dinner through Amazon, too.

Exactly!

Seriously. If a domesticated DOG did that to your kid, you’d have her put some space between them. Animals are animals, and they need their space.

Yeah, as a Catholic — a very frustrated one — I’ve argued this point with a particularly asshole atheist former friend (who I stopped being friends with because he said I must be a pedophile because I choose to still be Catholic. Okay).

When I was making my confirmation, during the last year of classes, I had a Catechism teacher who decided one day, apropos of absolutely nothing, to announce to us that dogs didn’t go to Heaven. Heaven was only for people. I had to make my Confirmation, but I did so without doing my confession (or ever going to…