I would literally read ONE item, and have to look away, scroll down, back up...it was an irritating dance before I eventually powered through it. Pretty sure I still skimmed over places.

It actually pained me to read.

i thought this was a safe space.

I am currently burning thru ultras w/ overflow every two hours. Cramping & clotting - o joy! I am stressed - got notification of layoff Friday (BTW - what is worse than immediate layoff? Being the walking dead for 2 months while your coworkers hope they keep you & you begin to hope they don’t). Not even my BFF would…

Now we’ve really got bad blood

They’re calling this one “Squad Goals,” but why not just go all the way and call it “The Taylor Swift”?

I drove past the beach early morning this weekend and was very confused and alarmed when I saw this cloud of smoke just sitting on the sand. Yes. I forgot what fog looked like and assumed it was a small brush fire.

I guess we can be grateful they didn’t gold plate it.

i want to punch each one of those plaster decorations in the face

Pronounce it as Churches. They put a v in there because googling them would be easier. I call them Churches because I hate you. This is personal.

My mom baked professionally out of her home for 10 years, and only once did she mess up an order. She took an order over the phone from a lady who wanted some custom-made cookies for her kid’s first Communion, a couple dozen crawfish cookies. Mom thought that was an odd choice for a first Communion, but she didn’t…

I had a friend at university who was blind. We used to eat lunch together a lot. I would say things like “Don’t you see?” and then stop in horror.

Her name is Carrie. I wanted her name on a regular shaped cake.

Could’ve been worse.

Happy belated birthday! Here is a pretend cake.

What the hell does your age have to do with loving cake? You’ll take my birthday cake out of my cold dead hands on my 101st birthday, when I die fighting some other bitch at the rest home for the corner piece, because that’s where all the icing’s at. THREE SURFACES OF FROSTING.

Because cake is fucking awesome, that's why.

I’m trying to become a stuffed crust pizza and I mentioned to my parents that I’m nervous about the timing of some upcoming family weddings, because if I am not drinking then people might get their hopes up that I am knocked up, and I wouldn’t want to make any family announcements till 3 months. My mom and dad laughed…

She said she was feeling nauseated and tired. She didn’t mention weird cravings or the lack of a period. A lot of very athletically active women don’t get periods, or only get them sporadically. There are also several kinds of birth control that eliminate the period. And, unfortunately (at least for me, because I was…

I’m 9 weeks pregnant and just dry heaved over the toilet for 15 minutes because I looked at a picture of food. 😷