Every time.

I mean... Isn’t it? Now I’m second guessing, but I thought? Lemme double check right quick. Oh, I think I lied. It’s just natural and cruelty free which I equate with vegan. HAH!

I mean, I’m totally into boobs and if this post would get men to show me their boobs I’d send it to them.

No one takes PMS seriously. They’re just like, “HAHA HORMONES. BITCHES MAN. SO SENSITIVE.” And then they walk away laughing. Or something equally dismissive. No. Hormones are disruptive and cumbersome and can explain SO MUCH. They need to be studied and I volunteer. Study my fucking body. My acid reflux, my anxiety,…

I mean, I know working out helps. I gym 6 days a week. But there are days when I am SO THANKFUL that my heavy, hugely crampy day has come on my day off because that means I can hunker down in my house and play hibernation. Marathon? No thank you. Marathon without a tampon? I woke up this morning and hadn’t had one in…

That... makes a lot of sense.

I AM TRYING TO BE PATIENT (I am not naturally patient) but man... And OK, tell me this, was your bleeding the really brownish kind that is thick and goopy?

I feel like it might be. I feel like a bunch of male models got really happy one day filling up their gas tank and they had a gas fight and blew up. We just don’t know about it.

YEESSSSS

I’m convinced there’s an angry murderer in there casually ripping my womb to shreds and then other times taking ALL the rage out on me.

I get laser hair removal and I went in one month and was like, “CRANK THAT SHIT UP, LETS REMOVE THESE FUCKERS.” So she did. Zap! “AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? PUT IT ON THE HIGHEST SETTING?! OHMYGAD I’M DYING!” She had only turned it up three levels. She kept asking me if I was going to start my period the next…

Also, does he kind of look like he’s Zoolander’s arch nemesis turned best friend Hansel in his booking photo?

I KNOW! I came back when I checked my stars and was like, PICTURE! And then I saw that a bazillion people were confused by the attractive yoga man stock photo, also. That poor guy.

And I’ll be rich* (compared to my here and now) so we’ll be traveling in style.

Ima continue thinking about this. I have a large supply of Costco tampons to get through and may or may not try out a cup afterwards. I’m still crossing my fingers that the Skyla is a miracle worker. I mean, I realize that might be a little unrealistic, but hence the term ‘miracle’.

Interesting...

Now all I can think about is John Tucker Must Die and his STD modeling gig.

You are a lucky lucky woman.

Holy shit, the picture changed.

OK, these pictures and these posts are really confusing sometimes. If you hadn’t posted this one I would have assumed the very happy brunette man with the yoga matte above was the murderer in question. I now wonder how many of these articles and pictures I have blindly associated.