Does he need an assistant? I can feed the paper into the printer and ooh! and aah! at the pretty sparkles.

PETIT VOUR!! (I’m sorry, I’m sticking my nose into your conversation). I am obsessed with them. I mean... I’ve only gotten the one month and the mystery box, but literally have loved everything, even if it’s impractical for me. And it’s only $15. BUT I have uber sensitive skin and cannot just go to the store and buy…

Kendrick is like... like... umm... ice cream for my ears. Proof positive rap can be constructive and beautiful and sexy and FUCKING ON POINT.

I keep clicking the button then going to the checkout and not checking out. I just don’t know. I just don’t know.

YEESSSSS!!!

I was sitting in my meeting at work just 10 minutes ago, bored out of my mind wondering why this shit has to happen every week and why I can’t just tell these people to shut up because none of this has a point, and when I became SO ANTSY I thought I might swivel right out of my chair, I put my wrist to my nose and…

WOAH. I mean, I wasn’t angry so much as I was like, REALLY? Who pays for that? I mean, obviously we all pay for stuff that is ridiculous. But that is REAL ridiculous.

Man, I am thirsting for the Kloverbox so I can’t really give you an impartial judgement here. I will say I want the Kloverbox because it’s vegan and my skin reacts to chemicals for no discernible reason. I have had a lot of luck with all the vegan products I’ve been receiving vs. the chemical laden products I’ve…

DID YOU LOVE IT?! What did you get?

Dude, I am 28 and feel your pain. At 26 I got carded at Wal-Mart when buying an R-rated movie... I didn’t understand why he wanted to see my ID until he explained I had to be 18 to buy it. Are you serious old man? People generally don’t realize I have freckles until they see me without make-up. But I have freckles all…

Diabetes schmiabetes. I am a grown ass adult. Put them in the grown ass adult aisle and I will buy them all like a fucking binge shopper without the special couponing ability (i.e., I would just spend all my money for the month on this shit).

IT IS ALMOST A SERIOUS PROBLEM. IT WILL BE SERIOUS WHEN MY CATS HAVE NO ROOM TO JUMP ONTO MY BATHROOM COUNTER TOP WITHOUT KNOCKING OVER MY VERY IMPORTANT AND BELOVED PRODUCTS.

She sounds like a good lady. You need to watch the show. Then when you see commercials for older women who hit menopause and have tender vaginal walls you’ll imagine your mother brewing batches of yam lube. Which I want to do.

I’m not even kidding, I have said the same exact thing on numerous occasions. I am constantly peer pressuring my roommate to get subscribe so I can raid her boxes. She refuses. She said the other day she almost did the Birchbox. To which I looked at her askance with my mouth hanging slightly open like, ‘WTF’. She…

I WAS SO GLAD I BOUGHT IT! Even that deodorant, which is completely impractical for AZ and my sweaty sweaty pits, I will just continue to use it at night so I have something wonderfully relaxing to smell. And the beautiful brown eyeliner that goes on smoothly? YES! And the argon oil?! OMG. And the root scrub? USED IT…

If I could have stocked up on something from my childhood, it would have been dunkaroos. Like, wtf snack companies. Why would you get rid of that shit? Icing? Kangaroo graham crackers? Icing? Seriously? I will never understand that.

Your 54 year old mother is a good person. I want to envision her like Frankie from Grace and Frankie. But with glitter pens.

And actually, here is my review of the products:

Then you were an artist. Embrace it.

I AM SO ADDICTED TO THESE STUPID BOXES AND I WANT THAT KLOVERBOX BUT I ALREADY GET THE AMORENATURALS AND THE PETITE VOIR. AND I GOT THE EXTRA PETIT VOIR BOX THAT THEY HAD THIS MONTH.