My name is Mowgli and I’m the not a man or a wolf. When I was a baby, I saw my mother lose me in the jungle during a tiger attack. My father went to prison for baby negligence. Then an accident made me the impossible. To the outside world, I’m just an ordinary jungle boy, but secretly I use my hands to befriend…

Counterpoint: opinions of whiny nerds on Reddit count for less than nothing. This remind me of those MRAs who publicly congratulated selves for hurting box office of most popular movie of all time. Know why Last Jedi made 1.3 billion dollars? Because lot of people liked it.

Based on your track record, you’re right. You will absolutely NEVER cease to be amazed at this perceived slight. Right up to your dying day, you will continue to mewl and whinge like a helpless infant bird for the regurgitated masticate of things you like that already exist. And in your pea-brained baby-bird logic,…

You can always tell the people who picked up their Looney Tunes fandom from boardwalk t-shirts circa 1995.

Dude, that’s the point.

THIS.

Sad to report that Spotify doesn’t carry this gem.

Also forgot: Empire teasing Force Leia (“no.... there is another...) and Jedi farting on it, so Rian Johnson has her Force-summoning herself to safety after getting blasted out into space. Fuck yes, finally someone picked up that loose end.

Also known as a list of reasons why this movie ruled. And I guess it’s also a pretty accurate list of reasons why so many Real Fans™ hated it.

Gremlins is good. Gremlins 2 is better.

We all know Gremlins 2 is, like Terminator 2, like Empire Strikes Back, one of the rare sequels that eclipses the first.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch is absolutely one of the best sequels ever, in part because of how audaciously different it is from the original. I’m guessing it was too different for Ryan Patrick.

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold