Ahhhh, yes, the “my deadly allergy is cured with FREE” person. I have met her many times.

If we’re going to be picky, white chocolate isn’t really chocolate.

And my first thought as a manager would be, “You have life threatening soy allergies?”

“Yes!”

You should have rushed to the back, grabbed an epipen and stabbed her in the thigh. :)

"Do? Well, I've never watched a person asphyxiate before, so here's my chance."

Re: the fake allergies

...I’m still not sure how to pronounce these guys: http://www.jrecksubs.com/

Ah, yes. White chocolate. Aka sugary milk. Blech.

*White* chocolate isn’t really chocolate. ;)

She probably opened it up to see what was wrong since it didn’t taste like artificial chocolate flavoring. Then she took the color as “proof” that there was’t enough chocolate in it. I know this particular brand of idiot quite well.

I had a coworker who claimed she did not like any Asian food. I have no doubt that the only ‘Asian food’ she’s tried is Panda Express.

What you mean the chinese place I frequent to get my hamburger and fries doesn’t serve good Chinese food?

I hear “chi-POLE-tee” a lot and it drives me fucking crazy. This word isnt goddamn hard.

This would’ve made an excellent submission.

Free popcorn in a tray is our early front runner for best bco submission of 2015.

I generally find that the quality of a Chinese restaurant is inversely proportional to the % of its sales made up of buffalo wings, chicken tenders, and french fries.

the mob of red crunchies chasing him and his thermos of white wine whilst demanding free popcorn in a tray

The sad part is a lot of non-chinese Asian restaurants end up putting some Chinese food on their menu, probably because its too much effort dealing with these basic people.

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…