The cops wanted to keep their new beer cold for after the concert, duh.

I wonder if Kirby Delauter is a fan of the Baltimore Ravens? Pinkham - can you please reach out to the office of Kirby Delauter and get Kirby Delauter's opinion on this story?

I heard Kirby Delauter is upset about Kirby Delauter's name appearing in the media? Being a public official, Kirby Delauter should know about a little document called the United States Constitution (which Kirby Delauter swore an oath to support) which allows for the free press to discuss such controversial topics as…

Holy fuck, Bill. For being only 59, you're looking rough.

Stuck to my walls after I fling it?

Violet Antebellum Lively has a nice ring to it.

Ugh.

I love cupholders, but that's for my coffee cup and my water bottle. Keys go in the coat pocket or pants pocket.

In your pocket?

There's always a manual neutral override somewhere. But its likely a small pinhole button.

Its an SUV, there's plenty of space to do something that's better than a push button. People are mistaking their drive button for the engine off button at a fast enough rate to warrant a full recall and fix. The Grand Cherokee's got a small shifter next to the cup holder. It also has a dial below it for your drive…

If the car recognizes an occupant of the vehicle raising the middle finger it changes the XM radio to The Village and lowers the mood lighting. Gotta fight road rage.

Who would even want to come to this team? There's not going to be any marquee free agents that would be willing to move to New York this offseason. They'll have their first good draft pick in forever and they're likely going to blow it on a project center from France that decides to retire and bake baguettes instead.

Holy shit this entire set up is stupid. Why do you even need a push button shifter?

I think they were switching the cans to show that he was only reacting that way to the olives.

Iman Shumpert would be a solid pickup for the Cavaliers if they can get him healthy and on the floor. He immediately becomes their best non-Lebron defender, which isn't saying much but there it is.

I was working as a waiter at a pretty decent steak house in the New England area. Had a woman and her husband come into my zone. I took their drink order and came back to get their food order. Woman: "I'm allergic to gluten, dairy, and nuts. What can I eat?" I proceed to go through the usual list of gluten free sides.…

"What? Kill you? No, no, no. I said thrill you. You know, thrill you with my performance tonight."