Listen. I don’t know WHY we, as a society, can’t just call supposed “unsweet” tea just “regular” tea. Goddamn unsweet tea, even to just be a confused grammarist and casual contrarian, comes across as having tea sweetened to begin with, and then promptly put through a process (call it reverse osmosis, de-suragring, or…

I find that if I eat lentil soup for dinner, the morning after it is less of a commute and more of a race.

He threw those interceptions...AS A GOOF, ya know?

I’m a hunter, and I know I always feel the proudest when I use bait to lure an animal that I have no intention of eating and that has become acclimated to being in the presence of people (which removes any sport in it) nominally outside a protected area for the sole purpose of counteracting the shame of my shockingly…

But Tony Stark is a fictional character. Batman is real.

“HEY BABY I’M IRON MAN! WOOOO! WANT TO GO FLYING ACROSS THE CITY? DRUNK? PSH, NAH BABY I’M STILL GOOD TO FLY!”

Fighting an obviously wrong battle in the face of mounting evidence that he is losing, just because he believes in it, does not make Batman romantic. It makes him George Bush.

or if you know anything else, you can let us know at tips@deadspin.com

I would give up my next paycheck to see Bomani tweet back “Man, we have never been cool. Sit down.”

4. Wait three days.

Jesus’s Way

You can tell this lawyer is a stand-up guy. He says his client makes no excuses, and then he doesn’t thereafter discuss anything that could be considered an excuse, such as the victim striking first, or the victim using a racial slur, or the incident occurring in a bar.

I’ve been working on improving my cooking skills for the past year. This resulted in a very tearful conversation with my husband, where I had to explain that if I was going to spend 8 hours in the kitchen making ravioli from scratch at his request, he could at least take a fucking bite before drowning it in Sriracha.

V…

Congratulations on being short to average height. I’m 6’6. Those 3 inches you are moving the seat have now made the seat 8 inches too short. My knees are now resting quite uncomfortably in your kidneys. It sucks.

How my best friend and I reacted when we watched this movie with a 3rd friend, who said it sucked:

According to the article, free.

This is still my all time favorite Gawker comment.

“I mean, I used it to mean the fact that people try to be friendly and welcoming”

The Confederate flag is really about ethics in journalism.

They have obviously improved, but not to such extent as we saw in previous years and console generations. The difference between a 2015 game and a 2010 game is not so drastic as a game from 2010 and 2005, or 2005 and 2000.