“Speed is the most important thing: Pretend that Dennis Hopper has put a bomb on your motorcycle. If you let up on the accelerator, it’ll blow up.”

It also says pounds ;)

Well, it says pounds and also tonnes. Idk but 630 tonnes seems like an obscene weight.

Honestly, $2000 for 630 pounds is not that bad at all, especially if you’re doing it in separate chunks. And I’m a little 140lb twink. If anyone wants to pay me the equivalent amount, let me know...

You know they try to screw women. Years ago my grandmother took her Buick Park Ave to a new shop for a "transmission tune-up" then told her that she needs a whole new transmission. They showed her some iron filings as proof. I had driven her car many times and the transmission was solid, they were trying to screw her.…

You want track day?

At just 64 lbs shy of 5000 lbs and a 0-30 in freaking 1.2 seconds and 0-60 of 3.1.

I wish I could quit you...

I probably made you atleast $20 correcting that. You owe me a beer.

Always test mirrors if you're in a room with one. Put your fingernail against the glass. There should be a gap between your finger and its reflection. If there's no gap, you got a two-way mirror.

HA!!!! to all the haters who said a Bentley is a boat. Clearly, it’s not.

“... then I watched a grown man ‘fist’ his car.” Things I never thought I’d say when I have to explain to my boss why I was laughing so hard I was crying.

I appreciate your life, Doug.

I actually think it’s an old guy who lives down the block and used to give us crap for parking. It ended when I lucked out and got the Pennsylvania vanity license plate “2”. I think he now thinks we are politically connected or something. But he probably doesn’t know the Hummer is mine.

This isn’t passive aggressive at all! This is regular aggressive!

4/20

Agro! Agro!

Anybody who goes into PR with the intention of collecting a paycheck usually doesn’t last long. I’m not saying it’s rocket science or super arduous, but you do need to be able to explain yourself, constantly, and that gets old.

The fact I’ve been a gamer all my life is why I ended up doing games PR. It’s as close to…

Well, he’s not wrong. Consoles will be able to do this in... uh maybe 25-30 years.

On most old cars they will roll forward just fine with the "make the car smell funny" lever engaged.