Needless flexing of authority, wild overreaction to immigrant, old and miserable.

As Adrian Beltre approaches his 3000th hit, and almost assuredly being voted into baseball’s hall of fame, I just want to say that this is, without a doubt, the greatest moment of this man’s career.

Did they even look for the stripper who was wearing it?

I became suspicious when no women appeared to be harmed.

The fact that he was falsely accused of a crime is just further proof that Whitehead isn’t Cowboys material.

He’s looking to sail off into the sun.

There are times when he looks like the best player in the league, and then there are times when he’s on defense.

“Fuck Comic Sans, I am going full dingbats with this one” -Right arrow, checkmark, star Circle, airplane, pencil, scissors, snowflake, heart

HE NEVER WOULD HAVE LEFT JORDAN

If you believe Scaramucci—you shouldn’t—Trump has thrown a perfect spiral through a tire.

How is babby formed?

The only mild comfort I have when I read things like this is that this dude is old and fat and tired and ugly and clearly his loneliness and isolation have made him miserable for the majority of his life. What joy has he ever really experienced that didn’t also make him feel secretly, deeply, crushingly inadequate?…

May I just say WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE.

The dive after Altidore gets up and nudges him is what makes it art.

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

That’s a burner. So Miami doesn’t find out about the cities he’s screwing on the side

In some parts of Michigan, this would be the feather-weight class.

Asked about Allen’s pronunciation of Cousins’ first name, a team spokesman said it sounded that way because of the Redskins president’s accent.

I think the majority of America’s reputable laboratories are mostly working on dong pills and such.