Sounds like you could have used the talk earlier so you wouldn't be this squeamish about it when you had your own kids. Might as well drown the younger one before you exhaust yourself any further.

Brainwash them into what exactly? Accepting that homosexuals kiss one another on the lips, open mouthed sometimes? THE HORROR!

The lengths you go to work out a pun.

Jimmy likes money more than artistic integrity, basically the polar opposite of people without money.

I guess they're mostly cowards who won't dare touch cancer patients.

Appropriation police out yet?

I think its the unfailing capacity for people to find something wrong with something that gets people - or at least the implied value judgment of "oh well you support something that has these set of issues, you should feel bad about that to some degree".

I thought it was an accurate representation of the persona I wish to convey. Why are you so rustled?

why does your middle school allow access to deadspin?

quit calling yourself a hockey fan? do you even?

Apparently I'm accepting adulthood wrong but then again, I'm not having children. Consequence free sex, weed, and video games GO GO GO (and max 401k contributions!)

Does this mean I'm off the hook for caring about the missing Nigerian girls?