Shhh. Stop trying to use logic.

I read that with the assumption that Kirby = vacuum and they were sucking down the food like a vacuum?

I spread the gospel of Kitchenette wherever I go!

She’s more likely to have the gun taken from her and used on her, but whatever.

Teacher here. I don’t want to be armed. I’m too busy keeping Johnny from swinging from a ceiling light, making sure Jaxon doesn’t come within 500 miles of a peanut, attending to six students with ADD, sending five students to get medicine from the office eight different times a day, keeping Billy from running away…

And not even just the funeral expenses but all the hospital bills too. Those don’t automatically disappear just because the patient died.

IDK. For Karl Rove, or that guy that jacked up the price of a 62 year old drug, I’d probably make an exception to the “don’t hit your customers in the head” rule.

I meant that crazy ass D&G dress. It looks like a hippie threw a bunch of random shit at a piece of fabric and thinks it’s ~curated art

“Use this EO” is often followed by “I sell it, you should come to my next party.”

That dress looks like something I would see at a booth run by a drunk hippie at the Eugene Saturday Market.

It’s not like he said “feed the hungry, heal the sick, and clothe the naked, and then charge them out the ass for it” or anything...

a debauched murder mattress of feather-leaves

And there were so many funny lines.

BEST GIF.

oh my god you used a cap from my favorite movie IN THE WORLD.

And okay, even if it wasn’t... isn’t there a little introduction of the nominees IMMEDIATELY BEFOREHAND? She could, I don’t know, fucking pay attention to the pronunciation? (I didn’t watch this year.)

People are capable of holding multiple thoughts in their head at one time.

I would think that women standing up for themselves and their profession is pretty fucking important.

substitute “teachers” for “nurses” and it’s exactly the same, with stupid scripted curriculum nonsense. whoever thought of this should have to listen to a script in hell for ever.

This needs more stars.