I get a lot of work clothes from JCP.

Did the faculty really say they weren’t going to go, or did the principal just make that shit up?

If I'm cooking my own bacon, I make it a little more on the tender side. But ordering out? No way. Because if I order it that way I will get it nearly raw. bleh

She should have brought a monogrammed thermos for her popcorn

OH NEVERMIND NOW I GET IT HAHA

I'm not sure if this is supposed to look like there are giant phantom balls beneath that eagle, but that's what it looks like!

They give away free formula for a while, the moms use it, their breastmilk dries up because the baby is nursing less, and then bam! They're locked into formula.

football. only football for good Christian men. and well, baseball is okay, because murica and apple pie and shit.

what the actual fuck

hahhahahahah

I use mine frequently in the kitchen for recipes and for watching TV while I’m cooking. I also use it when traveling if I don’t want to carry my laptop (especially at conferences), and I use it a lot as an e-reader. But for anything that requires having multiple windows/tabs open, like any kind of research or…

Mom hair? Mom jeans? What the fuck. Why in the hell do we attach the descriptor "mom" to something as a shortcut for frumpy/dowdy/uncool. Stop, please.

I used to be a graduate assistant for a university marching band at a big football school. I was the only woman on staff besides the administrative assistant. My fellow staff and the band director were great, but the Crowd Management dudes at games were fucking infuriating. One CMS guy actually grabbed my arm to…

We had a group of musicians come and do a workshop for our kids one year. When they got to my classroom, they asked if I could get them some coffee. I replied that as I was the teacher and therefore in charge of this event and my students (I’m not leaving my students alone with you, dudes! wtf!) I would not get them…

or that if you know how to read, you know how to teach reading.

In my comprehensive exam, my committee consisted of two men and a woman. The two men sat there and talked about themselves for 10 minutes until the woman said “This is actuallycallie’s oral exam, perhaps we should ask her some questions and let her speak for a while?” Ten minutes later, one of the profs interrupted me…

Most bottled water comes from "municipal water sources", so, the same place your tap water comes from, just in a different city.

I hate carrying my water bottle around... it never occurred to me to keep one just at the office! This is a great plan.

Get a reusable water bottle and fill it up. Seriously.

If it's something you've heard them say they wanted or saw them admiring, that's great and thoughtful. Many times, however, off-registry gifts end up being "Oh, I like this, and I thought you would too," when the giver and receiver have totally different taste.