Holy shit, shots and squats is even worse than I expected. I was expecting shouting from bros at the top of their lungs (I imagine them wearing neon tanktops with the armholes really expanded and cheap neon Wayfakers). Instead it’s like New Order crossed with Cotton Eyed Joe, but with all of the danceability removed.

Did Trish hand cut all the pepperoni slices? They’re all rough and uneven. THAT is dedication.

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Jesus, Amber Rose just ate Yeezy’s lunch

Greg Howard fucking nailed it like he usually does.

I’m sorry, you’re blowing my mind here. You pour RUM into your root beer floats???

I’m a Packer fan and had the misfortune of living there when the Fail Mary happened. I’ve never been closer to going on a murdering spree than when all these dipshit Seahawks fans (who couldn’t name three players and were wearing SPARKLING NEW jerseys) started coming up to gloat. Nearly quit my job.

Fucking NAILED IT. Living in Seattle during the Seahawk’s rise was objectively awful.

So, let’s all laugh at the idea that casting a hex will bring seriousness to their cause. But let’s also laugh at them thinking they’ll be putting a stop to gentrification when they’re about two years too late.

My girlfriend had me do a morning boot camp with her when I would visit, and invariably skips were part of the repertoire. They’re surprisingly tiring, especially after doing wall sits for two minutes, followed by squats, followed by jumping jacks.

One hundredth star for YOU for this pure, unvarnished truth

I fucking hate to admit this, and if you asked me this I would deny it up and down, but I think ghosts are (somewhat) real.

It’s really weird how that and the 2002 Super Bowl (when Gruden’s Bucs won it) are the two that absolutely no one remembers. At least 2004 had Janet Jackson.

Obviously, this sucks, since I’d like Inafune to do well. What’s the status on that Igavania game that was being crowdsourced? I DESPERATELY wanted to fund that one, but was completely flat broke when it was announced.

Starred because your manager is funny as shit

WEIRD. I’ve got friends who have personally waited on MJ and have been able to pay their rent because of him. Then again, they’re all hot girls, so maybe that makes the difference...

Two stories, iterations of which are probably widespread around Chicago.

“Shmoney”

I saw this in a porn a really long time ago (starring the legendary Jenna Jameson! And taking place on a boat!), and it has haunted me ever since. EXTREMELY fucking hot.