I feel you. My first stop, on the rare occasion I’m in a mall, is anywhere with wine. Two glasses and my social anxiety is manageable. But that is not a healthy habit, goddamnit!

Yes! They are the worst about fake over-friendliness.

Argh! the massage people. DO. NOT. TOUCH. DO. NOT. WANT.

Dear Traded Joe’s: I like you, but I don’t want to have a conversation with the checkout person about what products I like. Yes I like them, that’s why I am giving you money for them. Please take my money and have a nice day.

The clerk says some things are running small and some larger. My medium shorts (last summer) are literally the same size as this year’s smalls. It is ridiculous.

Right? Like I love Assembly more than life itself, but the idea that I have to constantly put on a coat and take off a coat to shop is ridiculous.

That makes me feel better. I have always worn a medium at Gap, and I haven’t gained any weight. And yet, I now have to buy a large in most Gap items. I noticed the same thing at Express as well. I’m not fussed about the bigger size, but I was really confused about what might be going on with my body!

Seriously, my entire attitude when shopping retail in-person: Never talk to me. Leave me the fuck alone until I’m ready to pay.

Outdoor malls are the only kind being built in the NE anymore. This isn’t Los Angeles, FFS. How can that be a profitable choice, given that Christmas shopping is usually the lynchpin of retail budgets?

Add pit pads! We use them in theatre all the time. They’re little cotton pieces similar in shape to shoulder pads, and they snap on / snap off to chuck in the laundry. Even if you can’t sew, it’s really easy to add tiny snaps in the armpit of a blazer, then snap in the pad and way you go.

I’m a guy, unrelated but went through the same thing when I was shopping in Europe and Japan over the past couple years. Somewhat demeaning to have to buy a 3XL shirt when I’m usually a medium in the states. But on the flip side I’m like how tight would an actual medium be on me?

We don’t.... I basically treat those dresses as tunics at this point. I don’t think I’ve worn a dress to work in the last 5 years that didn’t have leggings or pants under it.

It doesn’t bother me if women want to show skin- but I don’t like showing that much skin when it can be helped- AND especially not in the work…

For all your basic business casual needs: womanwithin.com

That is, if you’re a size 10ish and larger. If not, one of their sister sites will cover you. Just roll down to the bottom and click around.

Sephora smells like all the perfume died together in a holy war of scent, and their website gives you free samples with every purchase. I haven’t bought from their brick-and-mortar location in years.

There is a trend in my area (Western Philly burbs) of these “town centers” which are really just outdoor walking malls. So now I just get rained on going from store A to store B. They seem to be called “Main Street @ _____” to mimic being at a downtown shopping district even though they are usually outside of town.

I’ve had them literally grab me by the arm and drag me over to their stand. Its insane. Its also just one more reason for me to shop online instead of the store.

Ugh, I hate the kiosk people so. goddamned. much. NO, Israeli nail product lady, you cannot take your rough ass sandpaper thing and “buff” all the polish off one of the nails I just had done, STOP ACCOSTING ME!

Makeup doesn’t come with bizarre prints or slogans to ruin it, and you don’t feel insulted because even your nominal size only fits a childlike 13 year old’s body.

“At Sephora they ignore me, which I like,” Ms. Pahle said. “I don’t like the hard sell.”

There are a couple things pushing the retail apocalypse (beside the internet)