This.

Wow. That would really suck if you still got paid 1913 wages.

You’ve got it all wrong. The President of the United States, Leader of the Free World, and Defender of the Constitution told me, personally, that there was no longer a nuclear threat from North Korea, and furthermore, that the true threat to the existence of the United States was the unmitigated, catastrophic flood of…

Um, sorry, no. We were looking for “no.”

At the moment, the United States Government is full of corrupt people in positions of power who are actively damaging the public good they are entrusted to protect.

Seems bearly possible.

The catch is the app doesn’t show how much of your taxes go to pay for medicaid and food stamps for WalMart employees

Weak ties, indeed

Pretty sure that makes it thrice damned.

You have to focus your resources on the source of the real threat. The survival of the United States depends on identifying and stopping the real threat.

Why? The battery coil looked fine.

People like to ask if you would have killed baby Hitler if you could travel back in time and had the chance.

If you haven’t noticed the decline in public discourse over the past few years

The Conners are coming back? Let me get my coat.

In Animal Farm, Napoleon blames Snowball for everything that goes wrong, after Snowball has been banished from the farm. Once Snowball is esconced as the scapegoat, Napoleon begins his purges of the occupants of the farm.

Sleep well tonight. Let yourself be lulled off to slumber by the wails of crying children forcibly separated from their parents.

Keep a few 20s in your wallet, your kids will find it

You handled that well, got a rise out of the commentariat, clearly elevated the level of punditry, and didn’t even get tired.

It’s entirely possible to have an actual conversation about this.

“If you’ve done nothing wrong...” is the wrong question.