I totally would if he paid me. USD $50,000 after tax.

Yeah I hate bring forced to spend what should be my free time socializing with my coworkers. Especially since usually I have have to be the one organizing the event. So, extra work AND I get get to awkwardly chat with coworkers outside of office hours and not get paid for it.

I work in an office of 10 people and none of these examples exist for me. That’s fine, as I have have a life and there are some people I get along well with in other offices, but that doesn’t stop people from trying. My lunch break is considered unpaid, so please leave me alone when I’m on my own time. I have actual…

Whenever I go on a first coffee date with someone I met online I try to get there first and get my own coffee. It’s easier to just avoid the awkwardness.

I’ve often dated guys that made less money than me and it’s turned super awkward sometimes when I’ve paid for stuff. Like, they’ve felt emasculated. But if I’m the one suggesting going out to places shouldn’t I be willing to pick up the check? Or should I just make the sacrifice and choose not to go out but suggest…

I’m jealous! I live in Harper’s riding so my vote has always been a protest vote. Although you never know! My provincial riding went NDP in the Alberta election (by 6 votes so I finally mattered), which was unthinkable even last year.

You’ve just designed my future wedding outfit! Or maybe my bachelorette party outfit...

Fuck Jillian (her boobs look impressive and I’m jealous, what magic helps them stay like that under that kind of top?), marry Baddie’s because she/it seem fun, kill the weird yet also oddly boring cutout thing.

I’m not qualified to comment on the potential appropriation of of the dreads, but as a look I’m into it.

Oh god yes, I’ve had to make it clear to so many people that I have a NO TOUCH POLICY. Unless we are getting it on.

I’m home sick from work right now and tearing up over thinking of a puppy never having any toys :(

Reminds me of when I was with one of of my good friends at a hockey game. We have young women who wear tight tops and short skirts to skate around with shovels during breaks to clean up the ice. At one point my friend looked at them and exclaimed “Whores!” I was like, dude... Her response? “Well that’s my opinion and…

Totally my inspiration for the gym this morning!

Give ‘em ponchos to wear during dinner. The resulting photos will be glorious and no one will have stains!

I remember her! But not in a good way. I remember she made it to the end and was insisting she learned her business sense on the streets, when she was a suburban mom who started working for Mary Kay.

I realized that through the magic of technology I can watch both, so I plan on drinking beer and watching the Republicans while recording the Canadian debate for later sober contemplation. My only excuse for not thinking of that earlier is that it’s been a long time since I had to actively set up anything to record.

And the first debate is also on Thursday! How can I be expected to choose??!!

I think this is why my cat seemed extra angry at her fuzzy toy today. Raring to rip into something. Fucker.

Do people care about your boner now?

I feel like they have a database filled with Trump terms that they’ve been waiting to use for years and are so excited they finally get to use them.