When I was 21, I had to go to my doctor for a physical before departing for my Fulbright; my family lived in Utah at the time and I grew up Mormon, albeit on the East Coast. My GP talked to me about exactly this sort of thing—asked if I was sexually active, and noted that if I was planning on getting married any time…

The problem is also that vaginismus occurs for some of these women in the first place because of the intense anxiety they have about sex. This is the anxiety that develops because women are poorly informed and fed a lot of scare tactics about the dangers and sinfulness of sex.

The problem isn’t the dilators themselves-it’s the idea that these women are being told that every woman needs them to prepare before her wedding night which is patently untrue.

The problem is indicating otherwise healthy women need them to “prepare” their vagina for the “ordeal” of normal heterosexual sex. No, what they need is a male partner who knows how to arouse and satisfy them. Don’t hear anything about Mormon men getting “premarital” exams.

The link to condoms means it’s probably to discourage people from using them, so they can make more Mormon babies. 

I had a devout Catholic friend who sincerely believed she’d be “rewarded” with fantastic sex if she waited until marriage. We tried to warn her, but her Catholic priest was no match. She told us the on her wedding night she’d be having non-stop orgasms and the next morning they wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast…

Thank you! There is a lot of silence around vaginismus, as evidenced by these comments. There is nothing inherently anti-feminist about providing women with information about how to make sex not painful. My understanding is that vaginismus is especially common, for the reasons you explained so well, in the Mormon…

This sounds like something Margaret Atwood scrapped from Testaments because it was too ridiculous

The vagina doesn’t need to be stretched prior to first intercourse -- what it needs is to be excited and lubricated. I’m all for women (and men, and anyone) choosing to have penetrative sex for the first time by themselves with a safe and quality sex toy, but that should be about exploration and pleasure, not some…

It’s purposeful, to increase the stigma against sex. If you think it’s going to be painful or your body needs weeks of preparation beforehand you’re going to be more intimidated and more likely to wait for marriage.

the suggestion that a woman schedule a premarital exam ‘to confirm that her body is ready for sex’ and explore using a vaginal dilator

I have absolutely seen it, and it’s not that rare. Most common with parents who have young kids. I used to complain about them before I had a kid of my own. Then I had a kid, taught him from a very young age that you had to be totally quiet on a train/bus/airplane and how to wear headphones, and now I complain about…

Before the internet, we just chain-smoked for the duration.

Ryan air i think is about to start charging you for bathroom use

I love watching terrible movies on long flights—like, when I’m home, am I gonna watch Aquaman? No, the hell I am not. But when it’s 3:37 am and I’m 4 hours into a 7 hour flight and everyone around me is sleeping? Bring on Aquaman! I need something to dull my mind and the pain of flying and I’m not downloading that…

On domestic flights, yes. I started doing that after I flew coast to coast and was stuck with Two And a Half Men - a show I’d never seen before and still can’t believe was ever on air. (Someone explain to me why this show was so funny?)

What person with their own device doesn’t bring headphones and play at full volume? I’ve never experienced that on any flight.

LOL children, you missed flying before internet.

Next time they will charge you for the oxygen mask.

Last time I flew, I read a book one way and knitted the other way. I survived fine without a screen or wifi.