Alyssa Milano seems like one of those people who doesn’t quite get it but means really well so you kind of forgive her?

The universe has a soul. A beautiful one.

I was willing to give it a shot until I saw Meg Ryan. This movie takes place in the early 40s and you don’t change your hair? You keep your Meg Ryan shag and chunk highlights?

I love that he said he “probably” wishes. Poor guy doesn’t even know what he wants, probably because he has jizz coming out of his wherever. Sad!

Speaking as a lich, I definitely want super athletic zombies.

If you’re a man who thinks of himself as a feminist, and you’re worrying about whether you’re woke or woke enough, or whatever, it’s an excellent sign that you’re not.

Do salmon colored pants automatically take you out of the running for “wokest”?

Agreed. KStew’s not what anyone would call a people-pleaser. I suspect a lot of her I-don’t-give-a-fuck ‘tude is also, partially, a system of defense against the tsunami of attention focused on her since Twilight.

doing this without heidi and spencer makes no sense. LC is boring as hell and we already know exactly what she’s up to thanks to social media

It sounds like a lot of men applying for jobs. If a job has 9 qualifications, and a guy has 2 or 3, he’ll still apply. If a woman has 8, she won’t apply because she’ll stress out about the 9th. I wish I were just making a sexist joke; I’m not. This woman is breaking the glass ceiling - mediocrity and…

The lawsuit may well have been her intention the whole time. Some conservative group may have even come up with the idea.

This is horrific discrimination against the incompetent and as an incompetent person, I would like to see better and fairer treatment of my people. ‘Ooh, you need to know how to do things!’ ‘You need to know basic facts!’ It’s political correctness gone mad and also fascism probably.

Did he really say that? But that’s like...all the policy. I’m going to tell my next boyfriend that I’ll handle all the chores, as long as he takes care of the ones inside and outside the house.

I didn't know that Abigail Fisher had changed her name.

That reminds me, I’ve gotta get cracking on my lawsuit against NASA.

I don’t understand what’s not to like. Mark Harmon saves people from fires, he’s been married to his age appropriate wife longer than I have been alive and he’s a silver foxy fox. I also didn’t know I had this many feelings about Mark Harmon. Life is weird.

I’m with you. I was reading all of this going, “This all sounds... reasonable?” Do layoffs suck? Yes, absolutely. But if they’re spending an extra $280k a year in salary alone + additional comp for 9 people on roles that are no longer needed, that’s money they can use for different parts of the business.

DO YOU WANT SUPER ATHLETIC ZOMBIE PEOPLE?!?

BECAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU GET SUPER ATHLETIC ZOMBIE PEOPLE.

You shut your whore mouth. Mark Harmon is an angel from heaven and a gift from One True God.

Seeing “I Texted...” with an arrow pointing to an eggplant made me think Tyler Henry is a lot naughtier than his bow-tied persona makes it seem.