Gatekeeping is lame. Especially lame when it’s as inconsequential as this.

Drag him.

Thanks for reading!

Tom, your articles are always informative based on your ongoing experience in the business, and having you here is a real asset to Jalopnik (a win-win). Thanks.

Read the article and find out!

Good idea. We need to get you into a front office pronto!

It also says to do this on the box that the shells came in. I’ve never noticed any difference in how frequently they break when you heat them, but I’ve always thought the texture seems a little stale if you don’t warm them up.

Watch Joel Embiid.  You'll get hooked fast

I second the not watching the ball. As a matter of fact, if you can, pick your favorite player, and spent 3 or 4 possessions JUST watching what he does, noticing how/when he reacts to everything happening around him.

Also, some basic vocabulary will help you.

The “weak side” is the side of the court without the ball.…

The original Caesar dressing didn’t use anchovies anyway.

Watch for cool-looking stuff, arbitrarily pick a few probably-crap teams with exciting players to cheer for (Dallas might be a good one this year) so there are some emotional stakes, watch LeBron because you’ll never see another player like him.

Try not watching the ball for a quarter. You get a good understanding of what the hell everyone is doing and why guy are suddenly open or passed to.

You can always watch the way I watch football (both kinds): All you have to do is get the basic rules and then imagine that somewhere on the sidelines is someone shaking a very special Magic 8-ball that tells them when to call fouls and what the penalty is. Eventually you start to see the most common fouls and get to…

3 pointer - woo

My apologies for sharing some interesting information with you.

Nice price or crack pipe

I saw that you are focusing on craft distillers which is great, but for the vast, vast, vast majority of vodka applications, Tito’s is literally as good as anything and cheaper than all of these. If you really are the rare vodka connoisseur type then yes, craft spirits like this or a polish potato vodka will have…

Don wasn’t the only emotionally abusive guy on the show. Just the most overt one.

Lime is a soil additive to raise pH. 

I prefer Calvin peeing on Osama Bin Laden to remind me that America is good