I feel like if you consider yourself one of her friends, you already know what you are in for.

The best part about this quote is that she excludes *herself* from the discussion. Like, Martha looks great (and I’d be at least 400lbs if I had access to all those gateaux &c.), but slender she is not.

No one is forcing apologies. People just get offended and are verbal on social media. You do “edgy” jokes prepare to get heat.

Those in the beef jerky containment industry have been deeply offended and do not accept your apology.

No one is obligated to apologize. The Internet isn’t run on voodoo magic that forces people to tweet apologies when they don’t mean it. It is called publicity. If she doesn’t want to apologize for the Native American characters then she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to opt out of something that isn’t a thing.…

If people find out that your murdering people you’re doing it wrong.

I thoroughly apologize for my remark. It was insensitive to those who identify with pirate culture.

In the sense that you like me? Or in the sense that you want to bury me on a deserted island?

And by “apology culture” she means minorities refusing to kept our mouths shut when white people want to have a good laugh at our expense. Fey and all these other comedians lamenting this nebulous “pc” culture can get fucked.

You're a treasure.

Hey, my mom is a jerkbag!

...That escalated quickly.

I would like to deeply apologize for the above comment. When I said “so long Jerkbags”, I didn’t mean to imply that the rest of you are, in fact, Jerkbags. I was suffering from exhaustion at the time and have deep respect for the Jerkbag community.

Wait, we’re allowed to opt out of it? Finally. So long jerkbags!

Alrighty. I feel the same way about murder. People frown upon murder but ya know what-I'm going to do me.

I was definitely thinking ‘Paul McCartney conspiracy’-level shit was about to go down

This will never be more depressing than the time potato stood in for muffins and nobody noticed its time in the spotlight:

The One That Rachel’s Stand-In’s Grandma Has On VHS

The entire cast of friends was actually replaced by look-alikes after season 3, when the actors were abducted by the US govt and sent as specimens to populate a secret space colony.

Jennifer Aniston was replaced in Brad Pitt’s love life and everyone in the world has kept noticing for years and years and years.