Jon: When I was a junior in high school I was a convenience store clerk at a truck stop. I had to clean pubes and blood off in the showers.

“The NBC theme song for the football game was the last thing, other than some personal words from his wife, he heard before the transplant.”

“And for the last time, it’s a liquor store, not a package store.”

Is this an indictment on five guys or a ringing endorsement of the cost effective quality of wendy’s? 

Blank: “But THIS one will be involved in a Super Bowl.”

Johnson: “...motherfucker.”

You know who else sprinted before games? Chip Kelly.

Nick took a wrong turn while walking from Greektown to Ford Field and saw more than two black people in a group, and has been traumatized ever since. He’s told his harrowing story dozens of times since, in fusion gastropubs from Auburn Hills to West Bloomfield to Northville.

as a Lions fan i cannot believe it has taken this long to get to them.

As a Lions fan I’d like to remind Craig that Garrett has one playoff win and that both of them can go fuck themselves. 

Time was instantly called, too. That was a dead ball before it hit the ground.

Mmm, yeah, fanning him with your hat is going to make the kid feel better.

If I ever go to Michigan in August again, I’m going to your house for dinner.

Alabama one percenters

[Alarm clock turns from 5:59 to 6:00 AM. “I Got You Babe” begins to play. A BENGALS FAN lies in bed and opens his eyes.]

I remember when Putt Putt tournaments used to show up on ESPN from time to time. You either made your first shot or you didn’t, and most of them did most of the time. Grantland and ESPN did a fantastic oral history of a guy shooting an 18 on tour several years ago.

Real missed opportunity by Papa John’s to distance itself from a serial sexual assaulter. 

The location scout who found that cliff needs a special Oscar just for that achievement alone. Breathtaking. 

Fuck, man, when he slipped off the first time I gritted my damn teeth with anxiety because you fucking felt it. The last 20min of the film are a total masterclass in action tension. I dragged a few skeptical friends with me to see it big and loud and we all walked out singing praise.
There’s definitely a sweet spot in…

I havent been “on the edge of my seat” in a long time. This movie, however, redefined that for me. That whole copter scene? Man, when he slipped down the rope after trying to get a foot hold? Man I gasped really loudly and nearly pooped my pants. So fun. Minus the poop part. 

I personally cannot stand Cincinnati style chili. It's the cinnamon, it wrecks the entire thing for me. I can get behind chili with a pile of cheese on it, even over spaghetti or something, but that cinnamon just…nah.