You’re wrong. It is a societal imperative that we remove EVERYTHING that could possibly offend anyone. The MOST important function of civilization is to ensure that no one, anywhere, ever, sees or hears something they might find offensive.

Did your fireworks store not sell punk (I’m sure there’s a real name, but this is what it’s called in the Upper Midwest)? One flick from the Bic, and the stick for an hour . . .

Man, those D engines! I remember Estes had one rocket 6' tall. You needed a special launch rod for it, because of weight and size.

I have a bit of experience with the PSU truthers—long story I won’t go into here. I’ll just point out the one GLARING contradiction they never catch. When confronted with “JoePa Knew” signs, shirts, slogans, or memes, they shout “No, he didn’t!!!!!” and argue till they’re blue in the face.

The lack of training is appalling. On any one of those corners, a chase car bumper tap on the inside corner of the pickup would have spun it, ending the chase.

“Yakety Sax” becomes much less funny when the beatdown starts.

“texting cat memes to your mom” sounds like the filthiest euphemism ever.

Wow! She beat the crap out of her.

You’re milking that for all it’s worth.

So correct! 

Well, sure, if you want to get all FACTY!

As a Red Wing fan, watching that game last night, I could only lament how far away we are from competing with either team. Tremendous pace of play, quick, crisp passes, close checking.

Truth. Took me a while to learn that “salaried position” means the hours can work both ways. And the Sundays I have to travel, to be on site at a customer for Monday meetings, the after hours con calls, the evenings entertaining, can be—nope—need to be offset with an early out on Friday, or a trip to the barber, or…

Manti Te’o does not approve

Really hitting your stride with this article.

And, oh, the places you’ll go!

Yes.

Bravo

7th Fighter Squadron patch, F-22 pilots.

“Nope.”