Ah the old “cast the first stone” argument. Nicely done.

America: treating ethnic minorities like crap since 1776....

She buys groceries?! I assumed her sustenance came from turning her head 180 degrees and eating the face of her partner during copulation.

Because sending her to private school won’t prevent her from encountering a shitty teacher.

theres no way coco doesnt create a small gravitational field around her.

I read this while eating chicken nuggets on the couch. I feel pretty good about that choice.

Seriously. We’re all one used teddy bear or couch away from a lifetime of nightmares.

“Fuck the police” and “Y’all can suck a fart out my ass for all I care.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. Prosecutors don’t look for truth, they look for convictions.

Fuck this asshole. My daughter is autistic. She has been autistic since she was born. I knew there was something different long before she got the MMR vaccine. My daughter being autistic is just who she is. She sees and processed the world differently. That’s okay. I wouldn’t change her even if I could. To me it…

http://www.howdovaccinescauseautism.com

The only reason this picture was possible is because of that one time Madame Tussauds organized their exhibits alphabetically.

All of their columnists can go eat a bag of dicks weiners.

You’re officially old if you find every second of this red carpet utterly insufferable.

I’ve done A LOT of drugs in Maine, and I honestly got them all from white folk.

Nextflix and rage.

Oh, Paris Hilton. Puh-leeze.

Yes, I’m annoyed at that language. All women wear real-world sizes because we are all real women.

I feel no weirdness about this. My family is pretty much an underwear-when-we’re-home family (dad is the most dedicated to this, so much to the point where we sometimes have to throw him his pants and shout “put these on, quick!”when we have an unexpected visitor), and there were many nice memories of when I was…