It’s a great night for schadenfreude.

Manager: “Did you get their order right this time?”

And my job being married is to get my husband and my [seven] kids to heaven with me.

I offered to make my husband a sandwich on the weekend, and he turned me down. What does that mean? Is he getting his sandwiches elsewhere? Is there an Ashley Madison for sandwiches?

She said that going to the doctor regularly was part of her self-care routine, and she was unable to get her insurance (specifically through SAG) reinstated for some time. TMZ just says her insurance lapsed in 2014—it doesn’t specify if it was after open enrollment closed, but she was able to get it back (through SAG)…

Look what I bought my cat

The existential distress is coming from inside the house! The existential distress is coming from inside the house!

“Bris Penner”

People should never tell you who they think you look like.

Kara, once you and Ed become BFFs, I sincerely hope you will be candid with him about how stupid that lion tattoo is.

*whispers* dementia

it seems like a lot of people don’t even stop to think about that before they cheat, otherwise probably fewer people would do it. i mean, to think about a risk like that beforehand and then to go ahead and cheat anyway—you would have to be really heartless and awful to knowingly and with forethought risk someone’s…

Your great-grandparents and mine lay down in the streets and died so we could have unions. The fact that “all you know” is Hoffa isn’t an accident.

what about the diseases/infections your cheating spouse might be exposing you to? how come no one talks about that when talking about cheating?

I can’t tell you how many jerks use their work phones/emails to conduct affairs. It’s hilarious/sad/still-hilarious/depressing-because-these-clowns-make-way-more-money-than-me-despite-having-no-common-sense-and-what-are-my-life-choices-even/and then hilarious once more.

I am Mexican. I for random reasons have documents. But I have many relatives and friends who are EXACTLY like me in every possible measure but have no documents. I do not consider myself any different from an undocumented Mexican but I can and will vote and I will make sure that me and my kids NEVER forget this. For…

I can guarantee you that they do not. More and more universities, including Yale, have turned to the “hey let’s just have an adjunct teach this course” method of education. Adjuncts make like, less than $30,000. So. Lotsa high rollin’ in the ivory tower for those lucky fools.

There’s a lot of fakes. There are dozens of emails from the whitehouse.gov domain, which doesn’t even host emails. White House people use the “eop.gov” for their emails.

It depends. Adjuncts at the Ivy Leagues make about 6000 a class. And some get to teach a full load of five classes a year. So that’s 30,000. But they don’t get health insurance. Profesors may top out at 150,000. But probably average around 80,000. I know a lot of people teaching at these institutions. Some are doing…

I'm morbidly curious about how much the spend on teachers.