Last year, my friend posted a picture of my son when he was about ten months old (he’s 26 now) and FACEBOOK ASKED ME TO TAG HIM!

Cats pretending to be dogs? What is she, trans-speciest?

Mine I call Shall and Shan’t. One is...less responsive than the other, and sort of likes to hide in my armpit when I lie on my back.

I will watch, if for no other reason than I hope to find out how I let Brenda Walsh ruin my eyebrows.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why they are so invested in this whole “transracial is the same as transgendered” bullshit. Like, what’s it to YOU, trolly trollerson? Why are you all posting on every article ever with your disingenuous nonsense?

Gah! I saw that a couple of months ago, and it totally blew my mind. Who does stuff like this?? Is it a rare pathology or ?

And character! So much character!

We had this pretty standard three-tiered wedding cake plus a giant sheet cake, which it turns out was a good thing. There was ivy going up the outsides of the tiers like a staircase, but there were also candles? I can’t really be held responsible, as my former MIL was midwestern and very into planning the details of…

A couple of years ago I had a (college) student who called himself Echo and would, “Only write about drugs and death.” He also brought a single piece of like Sara Lee wheat bread to class each time and laid it on a paper towel and picked little pieces off of it to eat all through class. Another student asked, “Yo,…

But did she wear a fake marmoset strapped to her to fool anti-rainforest activists?

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, “Smile! You’re alive because your mother didn’t believe in abortion.” I wanted to ram the back of his car and jump out and yell, “YES SHE DID YOU DONKEY! SHE BELIEVED IN IT AS A CHOICE A WOMAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE!” Sorry for yelling, just...don’t speak for my mother,…

You are a perfect creature.

You know? Pretty much. I mean look what you’re doing here, jumping in shitting all over women’s conversations. Gee, I wonder why women would want a safe space for their education.

They look mainly for safe, easy and, of course, stylish bikes that have good and natural handling.

THAT’S RIGHT! I like it even better now, thanks!

I need to go back and re-read that. My small dog tends to follow me all over the house and I’ve taken to randomly yelling, “Why you comin at me with them pork ass hands?!” It doesn’t phase her, but it cracks my daughter up every time.

WHY YOU COMING AT ME WITH THEM PORK ASS HANDS

And no true Scotsman in comments sections.

...Is “guess the diaper smell” actually a thing they do at baby showers/neighborhood break-in parties?