Allow me to clarify. Your comments are completely inconsequential to me. Sort of like a pubic hair on a public toilet. Gross? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Of consequence? No.

You replied to me, ya donkey.

And I’m bracing myself against trolls who try to claim that it isn’t. Oh wait, no I’m not, because you are completely inconsequential.

Part of me is super excited about this, but another part is bracing myself for the inevitable, stomach-churning misogyny we will be seeing and hearing everywhere.

And then when they miss a feeding and you end up spraying milk all over their face from your engorged breast? That completely shocked and outraged look on a tiny baby face is priceless. Fun times.

Yeah, but it’s a dry hate.

I read about that. That judge needs to be thrown off the bench. I read he’s notoriously lenient on child predators and rapists; I think that says something about his character, no?

God, thank you! Nope, you really don’t “need to know more.”

I need for it to have been this lamp.

SEE? We should do a study!

I'm going with another reason to like them. But that truly is a terrible song for a wedding.

I'm going to post this again because I was really late to the party last time and I feel like more people need to hear the inadvertent nipple piercing story.

Gah, I know! I have one, I just can’t always use it because I teach wonky hours. I swear, you cannot mention tampons on this site without getting basically hit over the head with Diva cups. (Now that sounds messy.)

I’m totally going to dance for tampons once a month. It would help my budget if they just sort of fell out of the sky.

I mean, I’d read it.

Oh no! I'm so late for this, but I have a really good one.
My ex-husband's grandmother gave me this beautiful old stick pin for my "something borrowed," but there was no good place to pin it but inside my strapless undergarment thingy. As I started my walk down the aisle, it began to slip. I sort of moved my arm over…

"dedicated to empowering high school students by providing them with the tools to lead active lives and make healthy choices for a better future."

I had to observe a federal trial for a law class I'm taking, so I went to observe this badass woman judge I'd heard about. Wandered smack into the middle of a child pornography case. That was Tuesday and I'm still shaky.