God, that's hot. I'll be in my bunk, which is right down that hallway.

It tastes like cheap coffee creamer and despair.

According to Google, it is ethylene glycol amyl acetate benzene phenol dichlorodifluoromethane and uh, lead. Happy Holidays, I'm going to die.

I thought I bought eggnog. Turns out I bought "Festive Holiday Dairy Beverage." It's bullshit, but I'm going to drown it in rum. I won't slam it, though.

"You had me at arson."

My daughter's in sixth grade, and sounds much like your son. She called out a classmate for saying something was "gay," and then went on a mini-rant. The cool thing? Almost the whole class agreed with her! I can't even imagine that happening ten years ago. But yeah, she's with her dad's family this year for the…

You are absolutely right. I'm really frustrated that my ex can't put away his anger and hostility (which, wtf, he was that one who cheated) to co-parent effectively. My son's dad and I might have had our disagreements, but we always put him first, talked all the time, and found ways to agree on how to handle things.…

In early December some seven years ago, I discovered my husband had been having an affair. In the fiery (like, almost literally, since the woman's husband tried to firebomb our house) aftermath, I was going through his stuff and packing it up. I discovered a bag of Christmas gifts, mostly for himself. He had…

Dirty Pig is an amazing little company in Canada. They make this honey milk bath thing that is heaven. Great bath fizzies too. Shipping is cheap, even internationally. (I don't work for them, I swear).

I'm really happy that my 11-year old has finally moved out of the pop music phase. Her current tastes, influenced by Supernatural, are classic rock-oriented. Here's hoping she eventually grows out of the Boston/Foreigner stuff too. She's my last, so there's almost no reason I can think of that I'll ever have to listen…

So, how's that bludgeoning working out? This is their idea of men being obedient? Acting like assholes for being called out on their crap behavior?

"Co-ethnics" is a thing people say now? Cool. I'm going to use it a lot. "How are you today, my co-ethnic?" It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Guinea pigs in holiday hats are pretty cute too.

Oh! Great advice; let's see if it works.

I mean, I feel like you need to ask the important questions.

Well who is providing the Nutella?

With a mom like hers, I think she will be okay. I took my daughter to see Lorde this summer, and her mom came out into the crowd to give her and other girl children autographed pictures of her daughter.

They should combine it with the communion services! The McTranssubstantiation Menu. I'll have the McBody of Christ with cheese and a medium McBlood of salvation. Can I get that with the BBQ dipping sauce and extra napkins, please?

I do think it's both. I had a block with algebra, because as soon as I saw letters in with my numbers, I was like nah. But teachers also seemed to have only one way of teaching, and if that way didn't resonate with you, you were out of luck. I did amazingly well in logic and stats, and I can do a lot of simple math in…

I'd have probably done better in a twerking competition than I did on the math portion of my SATs.