My dream jeopardy categetory is “He’s that guy who was in that thing,” and they’d put up a picture of a random actor no one knows and I’d have to name his name and one thing he was in.  I’d own it.

Esther, what are you sitting here slandering Hershey’s chocolate as the worst Halloween candy when Charleston Chew, Good & Plenty, Bit-o-Honey and Necco Wafers are floating around? Not to say anything of raisins!

If Hersheys is the worst you can conjure, you grew up in some high end trick or treating territory.

Himmler and Goering didn’t sign up to be two of the most well-known head Nazis, they just really liked what a guy in a bar had to say one night.

I watched a college football game over the weekend on a bootleg feed my kid found in a Reddit thread (thanks Pac12 Channel that most people can’t get!) and had less issues and problems with ads and autoplay than I do on Deadspin.

Fuck THAT noise. She’s as complicit as any of them in this administration, not to mention her role in the Obama “birther” conspiracy.

I don’t even have to see the autoplay videos because I’ve fixed my browser. But I just locked my work computer and a notification is on the screensaver about the thing playing, with an option to pause.

Deadspin’s bosses, turn this ridiculous shit off, it’s not making you money and it’s pissing off all your readers…

Bloody hell, my fat thumbs.

Then yell on twitter how the Dems must have made baseballs too heavy and his throw was the best throw, the perfect throw.

For the record: Ivanka does *NOT* like being referred to as ‘some broad’.

Exactly. MLB gave the Expos to Loria so that he could alienate Montreal and then give MLB an excuse to move the team.  May Bud Selig rot in hell

“We were without a baseball team entirely for thirty-three years, until 2005, when the Montreal Expos, financially strapped, moved to town.”

If it happens, I don’t want a “gale-force chorus of boos” when Cheetolini steps onto the mound. I want someone in the stands to clap his hands and yell “Tax returns!” Then other fans pick up the cadence of the clapping and synchronized yelling for the tax returns until the whole stadium inundates the lying shit with…

((Blames the Democrats))

Translated for Trump supporter’s:

I have no idea what Trump’s history as an athlete is (I assume it’s limited if it exists at all), but he’s the sort of man that gets 5 draft deferments and then insults a POW Vietnam veteran by saying he “likes people that weren’t captured,” if that answers your question.

(looks around at people in attendance for early afternoon game) DON’T YOU PEOPLE HAVE JOBS?

+1 Judge Smails

Yeah. He was bat boy for Russia in the 88 Olympics.

*Caddy runs over, picks up the ball, and places it in Wieter’s glove*

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
the band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
and somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
but there is no joy at Mar a Lago - mighty Trumpy had crapped out.