I’m going to say it - but the RTD era of Doctor Who. Every series with the ridiculous “But then we pressed the reset button and it’s all better!” No.

I loved this moment. I also loved the visual style of the episode in season two where Boomer is assassinated Jack-Ruby-style. I thought the entire Kobol storyline played out beautifully - if not for the assassination, but for *this*

There was something in The Animatrix that was quite cool and they really could have run with it - a training simulation based on feudal Japan, and another world that was clearly based on a pseudo-1940s-style world. If the Matrix had been multiple realities based across a raft of human timelines, the film would have…

BNW is a tricky one for adaptations when you get beneath the shiny veneer of future London. There’s a *hell* of a lot of themes to take into consideration and I just don’t think that SyFy and Amblin have the guts to address some of the more serious ones. Can you see them creating the lower castes that are, pretty…

My first experience of slash fiction was thanks to a particularly horny classmate of mine who printed off (on a dot matrix, no less, kids!) a three-way epic between Mulder, Krycek and Skinner. The less said of the felching scene between Mulder and Krycek...the better.

Oh, I wouldn’t doubt that he sat in his hotel room and made himself sick on Pizza Hut or Domino’s. He was that sort of special wee fuckwit.

Did any of the bottom-feeders actually wear anything by a Chinese designer or did I gloss over that whilst trying not to laugh at SJP’s latest attempts to look edgy and cool?

I’m not joking, but I LOL’ed. They’re like two wee hobgoblins who just crawled out of Donatella Versace’s oily orange-hued crack o’ doom. FLUSH THEM BEFORE THEY MULTIPLY!

No, really, what the actual fuck is this? Not him, not her, that. What the kitteny hell is that supposed to be?

Oh boo fucking hoo, frau.

The orange skin makes the Baby Jebus weep.

No, after the curry thing, I ditched the bitch. As in “I stiffed him for the bill”.

A couple of years ago, I went with a colleague to a Chinese restaurant that had just opened in town. I really fancied this guy and I wanted to impress him with some really good, authentic Chinese food. The restaurant didn’t disappoint me but he was left pretty pissed off. Not at the food, but at himself.

I still say the pilot episode of V had one of the most beautiful sequences *ever* seen on television - when the New York mothership “opens up” to reveal the massive video screen underneath, followed by the simultaneous broadcast in multiple languages across the world - and it did really touch on some points about…

They could have done what the aliens from Under The Skin (book version, not the film) did - they harvested human males for a while, fattening them up to be slaughtered for tasty nibbles before someone back home hit on the genius idea of grabbing a fertile human female and using her to kick-start a human-breeding…

My stepfather did something nice for a young woman serving food in a restaurant we went. It was for my cousin’s graduation dinner (less said about *her* the better). The young woman in question was serving the food and my aunt (one of those special people you just know is going to end up in Hades being fisted by…

If you want something to make you pretty near kack yer pants, try the baobhan sith - basically a blood-sucking fairy. It appears as a beautiful young woman who often roam the Highland in packs, hunting down packs of unwary young men. They get invited in, thing get frisky...and then they tear your fucking throat out.…

The Selkies are a completely different thing to the Kelpies though. The Selkies shed their seal-skin and they’re either a handsome man or a beautiful woman. A common theme revolves around hiding or denying them their skin, thus preventing them from returning to the sea. Usually the Selkie provides the captor with a…

Seriously, Bruce, all the best of luck and happiness to you. I can’t imagine the pain and confusion you must have felt at times and I can’t imagine the struggle you’ve faced in coming to terms with your identity and the sacrifices you’re making (be quiet, you puerile lot! *smack*) but seriously, I wish you all the…

Oh look, Falling Skies is still going. Bless its wee cotton socks.