Photo caption: A pair of great tits.

stayin aliiiiiiiiiiive

THEYRE STILL GOOD DOGS LAUREN! THEY WERE DOING THEIR BEST

the point is, this is 35-year-old Ivanka talking about 14-year-old Ivanka, and obviously lying. The point is, 35-year-old Ivanka lies.

I would have thought the article made no sense. I mean Obama’s oldest daughter wasn’t even born yet when Cobain died. Now we are supposed to believe a baby dyed her hair blue? The whole story would fall apart.

In-N-Out is, indeed, fine.

In’n’Out is good, but it’s one of those things where the hype is so outsized the actual food just can’t live up to it. It’s a good cheeseburger, but there’s a certain ceiling to how good a cheeseburger can be, and people compete to shower theirs with praise. Can’t live up to it.

Of course, Laura accomplished her secret goal of giving Hannah milk farts.

He looks like an off-brand Nick Denton, TBH.

Beep, borp, hello fellow hooman.

“On Patty Mills’s decision to resign with the Spurs because of the team’s culture”

I tutored Tyler Eifert in college and he was without a doubt the dumbest person I tutored in the 3 years I did. He is showing his grasp on history and global politics is no stronger than his grasp on pre-calculus ever was.

Personally, I’d rather get the look of the person you send to kill the Baba Yaga

Why you gotta interrupt my strongly worded email with your silly warning?

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

After a verbal survey, it seems many call it soccer baseball here which has made me angrier

It’s what they told us it was called in gym class, okay? Who was I to argue?

For those of you coming here for a “mop-topped Monkee” joke, here you go.

They suggested he get an MRI, he suggested they should fuck off, and then his arm suggested that Thor is not a doctor.

My family is from Cuba, and Angel Hernandez is our greatest shame after Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. Goddamn, we really churn out some trash-ass motherfuckers, don’t we?