Of course, it’s important to point out that Spears did not write this.

10 seasons and they haven’t mentioned stocking up on toilet paper one time. Hell, they haven’t even mentioned shitting on the show. Like what happens in Alexandria? Do they just shit into the empty toilet and then force it down the drain? 

You know, you don’t need to be so passive-aggressive. If you wanted me to stop gnawing on your leg, all you had to do was ask. I hope you feel better, because I just feel like an asshole.

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

Can’t these same powerful electromagnets be used to hurl poop into the sky?

Boom. Problem solved! You’re welcome navy.

I mean, if your pals were only getting their news from local stations or Faux News, then the blame is squarely on them. This thing has been well covered in for months now.

She must be a Kazuya main

He promised he’d sell it, but he’s also trying to social distance. The price keeps people six feet or further away.

I really hope this doesn’t come off as me scolding you, but I do want to take the opportunity to say, for any other folks looking at retirement soon - it might be too late, maybe there will be a rebound in the next 12-18 months, but take a moment of calm in the near future to look at your portfolio and rebalance your…

It’s a good idea, but you also have to make sure there’s no mirror trust setup. Former Gov. now Senator Rick Scott put “his” assets in a blind trust while governor of Florida, but his wife’s assets were in a different trust. Scott’s “blind” trust had instructions to mirror his wife’s trust exactly. So Scott issued…

I actually disagree, it’s a tan on white 80's Ferrari convertible. There is bound to be at least $30k of cocaine hidden in the trim somewhere on this car! Then it’s basically just a free Ferrari!

Because getting your ass eaten feels fantastic?  *shrug*

Nobody cares about your boner.

The same thing happened to America with Rudy just after 9/11. THIS WILL PASS.

First in with the pedantic correction: a 10k is not a marathon.

Weakest of the trilogy, but only because it’s in the ring throwing fists with Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan.

“She look-a like a cat.”

That’s okay, son. No prejudice on here on Mars. It’s in the planetary charter.

Perhaps, in order to encourage social distancing, Congress should vote on having people live in the woods.  You know, some kind of forest law.