bring back Crystal Gravy or GTFO

The link says Hefner also tried to get her to stay with him by putting her in his will. Don’t you guys think at this point Hugh Hefner must feel a little degraded knowing that all his child brides are just waiting around for him to die and leave them money? (And, if so, GOOD!)

for real, that’s an admission of date rape the creepy old fuck.

Thank you Fred Savage. Reunion shows are ridiculous, disappointing, nostalgic emotional masturbation.

When she met Hefner at age 21, the first thing he did was offer her a Quaalude. When she declined, Hef said, “Usually, I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills ‘thigh openers.’”

WHOA. Holly never signed a NDA? I know this is not my best moment, but......

Pepsi is gross and Crystal Pepsi is even worse and I am sad this has a remote possibility of happening.

To be fair, the names probably came with them. Shelter cats always have wonky, syrup-y sweet names.

As I don’t “get” Twitter, I don’t understand... Does he tweet as if he were his cat? God, I thought I was the only (depressing) person who had voices for my dogs and would use them to “share” their “thoughts”, but tweeting takes this shit to a whole other level. Good to know even famous people are as lame as me.

This seems like a particularly nice way for a celebrity to adopt a pet. Of course it’s fine for people to get purebred animals if they want them, but if you’re not very particular about breed, going to a shelter or rescue and giving it a shout out on social media seems like a good way to go.

Soda sales must be lagging really badly for PepsiCo to (a) bring back a product that failed the first time around and (b) intentionally market the rollout via social media.

Sounds to me she might be the chronic masturbator’s soulmate.

I’m on codeine and this is the best story I’ve ever heard, ever.

Let me tell you the chronic masturbator story! I’m going to call him Doofus.

The best part of this whole thing would be if some shitty writer out there wrote a derivative, crappy fanfic of the Shades series, and somehow got it published, and it became totally popular and famous, and there was a movie made of it, and then another shitty writer wrote a derivative, crappy fanfic of that book, and…

I am 100% sure this was orchestrated by EL James to copy Stephenie Meyer better.

*steals it and sells it on eBay for eleventy billion dollars.*

OK, is anyone else having flashbacks to when whatshername rewrote Twilight from Edward’s perspective and then the manuscript leaked and she refused to publish it after all?

That “nice, nice, nice” is totally what’s going on in Christians brain when Anastasia is biting her lip. IM SO SHOCKED THAT HE’S SO BORING IN HIS HEAD. That woman can write.

Two hobbits were seen leaving the scene of the crime, headed to the closest volcano.