Running a scoreboard for gradeschool basketball fucking SUCKS. I did it when I was in high school and got yelled at all the time. Hit the wrong button on the console and add 1 point instead of 2 and the parents start screaming. And the scoreboard isn’t even official, the score book is. So all you have to do is wait to…

Get both and have your wife (or husband) drive the Odyssey. That’s what I did anyway.

I forgot I had one when the call for stories came out but it is short.

Kentucky has this as well but not as spendy as VA. 2012 Honda Odyssey last fall was ~$300.

When a male child is born, a mandatory vasectomy should be scheduled on his 30th birthday. If you don’t have all the kids you are going to have or at least have a bun in the oven by 30, forget it. When my younger whiny turd was born, I was 38. I will be dead before I have the chance to do anything resembling fun…

The last time I went to a go kart track the goal was to get thrown out of the go kart track. Once everyone in the group was thrown out we could go drink beer on the beach. Not sure why we didn’t just to straight to the beach.

Wait, I’ve seen this one. The guy was carrying an air conditioner and two of his friends went to parking garage jail for whizzing in a corner. That’s it, right?

Rex Ryan-FIRED! 

I did this on a 94 Toyota pickup a few years ago. Didn’t need to change the wheel cylinder but did replace all the springs, shoes and had the drum machined. I also had to replace both bell cranks which were frozen. It isn’t that hard and I am not that experienced a mechanic.

This is why everyone hates Duke. They always have some white kid that you can’t watch because all you can think about is punching him in the face.

It was when I lived there. If you went out to a bar or club and managed to spot a reasonably attractive woman then it was a dead lock that she would have rock on her finger that could break an arm.

I would take this over a president elect coming into town for a “Thanks” tour rally in downtown Cincinnati at 7PM resulting in shutting down two major interstates and a portion of a loop interstate for 2+ hours.

I did. Moved from San Jose to West Lafayette after the tech bubble popped. Was able to buy a house and see actual women. Lots of dudes in San Jose.

I think I drove through Grumett, Indiana once. Crappy little town.

We should just switch to the Kelvin scale. I would love to hear a weatherman say “It’s going to be a comfortable 299 degrees out today so leave those jackets at home!”

I have two push mowers, one is a Craftsman self propelled with a B&S engine and the other is some green and yellow WalMart special with a Tecumseh engine. The B&S starts reasonably well but bogs down very easily. I think I could mow a jungle with the other one.

Gas, grass or ass ...

It’s short one pumpkin and 29 ponies. The manual transmission only comes with the 2.0L engine, not the 2.5L that you can get with an automatic.

I hope she doesn’t get kicked out of her union for not knowing that her TJ is actually a CJ7 (or a CJ5, I can’t see the door sills).

Damn, beat me to it!