I’m 95% sure this is just Daniel Day Lewis Prepping for a role.

24. Orienteering

Sometimes I think about eating people and even I think this fucked up.

Is it ok to be against rape but still think this sucks

Please provide the statute that gives a 13 year old legal protection from her parents cutting her hair.

Seriously. I get really mad when “save the boobies” or “save the tatas” comes around in the fall - save the women.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. If you want to show off your tits, go forth and show off your tits. But PLEASE stop making it seem like you’re doing charity work. What you’re actually doing is sexualizing a deadly disease. You taking a topless selfie does fuck all to advance the treatment that saved my mom’s life and will…

No, it's Becky.

I haven’t had any notable encounters to speak of, but this was just kind of adorable. I was working at a health food store in Miami and Ziggy Marley came in with his toddler-aged son. I was standing on a stepstool in order to stir a gigantic bowl of soup I was making for the deli, and his son very loudly said, “What’s…

Some of my lit students were telling celebrity stories recently, and I happily talked about the time I met Junot Diaz.

I thought the girl who got treated badly by one of the Boondocks Saints would be here. He was such a dick to her.

I usually like the mall makeovers, but everyone looks so much better in the before shot this time!

I feel dense because I didn’t even know they were like a thing.

I used to have one arm hair that grew really long, like 3 inches long. It was a great ice breaker, and I was pretty proud of it (and I wondered why I was single for so long). One day it vanished, never to be seen again. I hope it’s having fun, wherever it is.

Look into jobs with the terms “policy,” “research,” “regulatory,” or “contracts” in the title. Lawyers are in high demand for Supply Chain, Regulatory, and Communications departments in companies because you know how to communicate well and analyze problems. Bonus points if you have any excel skills. I can guarantee…

A couple of weeks ago I came here to talk about my cat who was dying of cancer. He died in my arms this morning at the vet. My heart is broken. Here is his picture, I hope. I’ve never tried to upload a picture. Anyway, his name was Fresca, he was almost 16, and I loved him so much.

It’s the late-aughts and I am living in the Hollywood Hills. It’s a Saturday night and my friend is super sick. She’s asked me come over and take care of her but first pick up some cat food and juice. No problem, I say, I’ll just hit the liquor/convenience store across the street from my place. Do I need to change out…

I used to work for the tabloids, so it’s not a question of if I have a story, but which one I tell the Jezzies.
There was the time Dave Navaro refused to be interviewed unless I gave him a blow-job. He had just married Carmen Electra.
There was the time on a red carpet that a very drunk Gary Busey asked me how, a…

You were highly privileged to experience True Acting™. As evidence, I offer this masterclass:

This isn’t a bad celeb story, this is just the obituary I found for FRANCOIS ZEN POET (since the author edited out the name of the town. I will do likewise, though it isn’t hard to find out there on the internet, obviously). I thought the story was incredibly touching. Thanks for sharing, gatorades! :